Secret Feelings
by RRfan4life
Summary: Beginning in high school, the romantic escapades of Ross and Rachel, Monica and Chandler. What happens when courage brings secret feelings to the surface? [AU, complete]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Man, I hate saying I don't own these characters. Even though I don't. Bright/Kauffman/Crane do, though. I just pretend.

**A/N:** This is a fic that was originally posted on the Friends Cafe board. However, many chapters have been combined, small revisions have taken place, and different songs have been added here and there. So it is not one-hundred percent the same. At this point in time, I have the entire fic written, other than the very last chapter. Just so you know, lol. Now enjoy!

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_Don't let yourself go_

_Cause everybody cries_

_Everybody hurts_

_Sometimes_

Chandler and Ross got back late to their dorm. They had just been to a wild party- not that either of them were personally part of the wild (as much as they would have loved that).

"Man, no chics again, what's wrong with us?" asked Chandler.

"I don't know, man," Ross replied. "I mean, we have the greatest hair, I just don't see how women can possibly resist."

Secretly, Ross didn't care. Of course, he knew he had his great hair and his great keyboard skills (even he was in awe of his "sound"), but women didn't mean a great deal to him. Well, maybe one did.

"There's a message on the machine." Chandler pressed play.

"Ross? Its your mother. Just reminding you that your sister is coming down to visit you this weekend, so be home on Saturday. She's bringing Rachel with her." His mother paused in her message. "And maybe send Chandler out for the weekend, I don't want a bad influence on Monica."

Chandler rolled his eyes. "What is up with your mom? She _so_ hates me."

Ross wasn't listening. Everything stopped when he heard that Rachel was coming.

Rachel . . .his little sister's best friend. Ross had had it bad for her since he was just fourteen years old. Of course, Rachel didn't even know he was alive. He was just Monica's geeky older brother. Ross hated that. Always the dinosaur guy. Rachel was so funny and pretty . . .sometimes, Ross hated those dinosaurs.

But then again, they were _dinosaurs_. They were too awesome to hate. Just look at those teeth!

"I hope your sister doesn't sit on me while they're here, I think I'll break."

"She's not fat, she's big boned," Ross said defensively. Of course, he couldn't care less about his sister's feelings. She was his stupid little sister, and very annoying. No, he was sticking up for Rachel's best friend._ Rachel _. . .

Chandler blankly stared at Ross.

"Okay, she's a cow. Not my fault."

"Why are you sticking up for her, anyway? Since when did you care?" Chandler looked at Ross. "Oh, I see buddy. 'Rachel's best friend!' Dude, get over that girl!"

"She's not just 'that girl'! She's . . .she's Rachel!"

"Yeah, and have you seen her nose?" Chandler made a face.

"It's a great nose! Shut up man!" Ross yelled. He threw a pillow at Chandler's head, and tried to shove Rachel out of his head. "Anyways, Monica is starting to diet. I don't know why."

"Yeah, good luck with that," said Chandler sarcastically, and flipped on the TV.

Of course, Ross had no idea about Chandler's secret. He'd had a little crush on Monica. Fat or not, she had really pretty eyes. And he loved how lively she was. Of course, he'd never utter a word of that to anyone. He was trying desperatly to fall for some hot blonde chick to cover up for it.

Ross went in the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. "It'll be okay, man. She's just a girl." _Just a girl you've been desperatly in love with since 9th grade. _"SHUT UP!", he said out loud to his own mind. He grabbed his toothbrush, colorfully decorated with T-rexes, and brushed his teeth before going to sleep.

Monica and Rachel were sitting in Monica's room, watching a movie. Rachel was spending the night, and the next day they were going to Monica's brother's dorm to visit. Rachel was only going to try and get some college action, to go to parties and meet guys. Monica and her brother usually didn't get along, so Monica never had given Rachel an explanation of why she wanted to go. But Rachel had an inkling.

"Do you think I'll get fat if I have anymore?", Monica nervously asked Rachel, holding up the bowl of popcorn.

"You're asking me if you'll get fat?", Rachel replied, skeptically.

"Okay . . .", started Monica. "Will I get fattER?"

"Probably, considering that its swimming in butter."

Monica frowned, and sadly put the popcorn bowl back on the floor.

Rachel smiled to herself. She knew why Monica was so obsessed with her weight lately. It was Chandler. See, he was her brother's roommate. He was kinda dorky, but funny. Monica had a little affection for him, or at least that's what Rachel thought. Because she had overheard him calling her fat, and immediatly began to diet. Or, at least, attempted to diet.

"Do you think Ross can get us into any cool parties!" Rachel asked, excited.

"He'll get you in, maybe." Monica knew her brother was obsessed with Rachel. It was the most obvious thing, and of course Rachel could tell. But the two of them were just friends, if that. Rachel found him to be just her best friend's nerdy brother, even if he was fun to talk to.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and maybe you can get little Channy to get you in."

"What, you mean Chandler? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing." Rachel sighed. Monica was so bad at being subtle, just like her brother. The Gellars were not the best at hiding their emotions. _They sure aren't the best at dressing either_, she thought to herself. _Does Monica have a mirror? Just look at that shirt . . ._

Monica watched the rest of the movie in silence. _Does she know? Oh God, I hope not._ But another thought temporarily comforted her. _Ha, I'm so much better at being sly than my brother. Of course she doesn't know!_

Ross was pacing his room, back and forth, back and forth. Every once in a while, he would glance in the mirror, decide he hated the shirt he was wearing, and change it. Chandler was out getting some food, because Monica and Rachel would be there any minute. Ross was so nervous. He hadn't seen her since her prom night. Rachel's date had been really late, and Ross's father talked him into taking her. Just when Ross thought his moment had come, her date showed up. Sometimes, he hated the way the world worked.

There was a knock on the door, which made him jump and snap back to reality. "W-who's there?", he asked nervously, scared of the answer.

"Its Monica, Ross. Expecting someone else?"

His fears now confirmed, he started towards the door, noticed a dinosaur toy he forgot to hide, and threw it behind his bed. "Sorry, buddy." He opened the door to see Monica standing there, all by herself.

"Where's . . .where's Rachel?", he inquired, trying to sound casual, but his Gellar genes playing unfairly against him.

"Don't have a heart attack, loser. She's just dragging her suitcase behind her, and its taking her longer."

Rachel showed up behind Monica, out of breath and dragging a suitcase big enough to hold her entire closet, and probably did.

"Hey, Ross," she said with a smile, not knowing quite how much she made him melt.

_She said my name. My name! Ooo, I love it when she says my na-_

"You okay?" she asked him, a little confused. "You're staring off into space..."

"Yeah, yeah, fine," he mumbled, being brought back to the real world. "I'll take your suitcase!"

"Okay, but it-"

Before she could warn him, Ross had heaved it over his shoulder, causing him to fall to the ground underneath the weight. Monica just laughed, stepped over him, and went right into the room.

"Haha, weak loser."

"Oh my God, Ross, are you alright?" Rachel rushed to his side. "I tried to tell you, its too heavy! God, I knew I didn't need that last skirt."

"Oh, cause that would of made it _worlds_ lighter," said Chandler sarcastically, coming down the hallway. Ross lay there in shock, because Rachel has actually cared. She cared that he was hurt. And that, somehow, it had made the pain seem a whole lot less.

"Hey Rachel, come on, lets heave this thing off the big guy."

Hearing Chandler's voice, Monica came out the door. "Look- another freak!" she said to Chandler, in a lame attempt at an insult. The other three all rolled their eyes.

"Just help us get this off your brother," Rachel pleaded Monica. Together with Chandler, they pulled the suitcase off of Ross and into the dorm room.

Chandler and Monica returned to the room, Monica saying something about Chandler being a wuss and Chandler trying to ignore her.

Ross found himself alone in the hallway with Rachel. She was picking up a a few stray items that fell out of her suitcase's side pocket.

"Here, let me help." Ross grabbed a tube of lipstick and a pack of tissues.

"Oh, thanks. Listen, I'm sorry about my bag. You're not hurt, are you?"

"No, no. I think my spine went numb though, so I might be hurt in about an hour," he said jokingly. She laughed.

"Hey, speaking of that lipstick," she said, taking it from Ross, "Its new, I just got it." She pulled off the cap and rolled it up. "What do you think?"

"It'll look great on you."

"I sure hope so, it cost fifteen dollars," she said, a worried expression now spreading across her face. Ross laughed to himself, he loved how she could get so serious about the littlest things.

"Don't worry, I promise, you'll look amazing." He smiled at her, and she returned the smile.

"Thanks."

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The next chapter should be up tomorrow night or Monday night, since they're all done. I've really grown to love this fic over the last few months, so I hope you guys here like it too :-) Reviews would be amazing! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, I don't own anything, I suck at life, blah blah blah. You get the gist.

**A/N:** I just realized that my barriers between different scenes dont carry over into the documents here, so sorry with any confusion on that part.

The four of them were watching a movie in the dorm room later that night, because there were no good parties. Well, thats what they told the girls. The truth was, there were plently wild parties Chandler and Ross could have taken them to, they just didn't want to. There would be college guys there- and the girls would be gone the rest of the weekend. So tonight, they were just snacking on popcorn and laughing with each other. Rachel and Ross sat on the ground, Chandler in a bean bag chair, and Monica on Ross's bed.

The movie ended, and Monica began to drift off to sleep. Rachel, Ross, and Chandler stayed up much later, trading stories about failed dates, impossible assignments, and terrible teachers. Every few minutes, Chandler would quickly glance at Monica sleeping.

"Dude, why do you keep looking at my sister?"

Snapping out of it, Chandler thought quickly. "What could she be dreaming about that makes her move so much in her sleep?"

"I don't know, hoagies?" said Ross carelessly. Rachel laughed.

_I made her laugh. I really made her laugh! God, she's so adorable when she laughs..._

"Come on, Ross, cut your sister a break, she's trying to diet," Rachel said in between giggle fits.

"Yeah, Ross said that," Chandler piped up. "Do you know why?"

"Duh," Rachel matter-of-factly replied. "Cause she heard you called her fat."

"_Who told her that!_" Chandler got to his feet.

"Whoa, man, take a chill pill," said Ross, surprised at his roommate's reaction. "I told her, why does it matter?"

"Because . . .because fat people have feelings, too!" Chandler pathetically shot back. Rachel and Ross gave him a blank stare. "You know what, I'm going to bed now!" He collapsed on his bed and didn't move a muscle the rest of the night.

_She hates me, she hates me_, were the thoughts he fell asleep to.

"So . . .looks like its just us," Rachel said to Ross. All of a sudden, Ross started to sweat. He started to shake. And his back started to feel like there were needles cutting into it.

He was alone with Rachel at night.

"Uh, yeah, I guess it does- SO..." He tried desperatly to come up with something to talk about. "You were about to tell another story, right?"

"Oh yeah, prom!", she started. Ross's insides turned to knots. That had been one of the worst nights of his life. "Yeah, remember when Chip didn't show up? Oh, that was awful. All I could think was 'This is going to be the worst night of my life'."

"No, it wouldn't of been," said Ross, knowing otherwise. "Anyway, that guy was a jerk."

"He was not- his car broke down."

"Yeah, okay!", Ross said sarcastically, his jealousy rising.

"What is wrong with you? His car broke down! He is not a jerk, just . . .just a little stupid for not filling the tank with gas!"

_No, no, no, no, don't get mad. Please don't get mad at me._

" . . .what?"

Ross looked up. "What what?"

"You just said 'Please don't get mad at me'."

"Well, um," he began lamely, realizing he said his thoughts out loud. "That would make it kinda awkward, with Monica and all . . ."

"Um, uh, yeah, I guess," said Rachel, still confused.

"Ok, he wasn't a jerk. Better?"

"A little." Rachel felt oddly uncomfortable all of a sudden. Ross seemed wildly jealous, and she knew he had a crush on her, but no matter how much he made her laugh, how comfortable she felt with him . . .she just didn't see him that way.

_. . .I think. NO, no! Its Ross, the dinosaur guy. DINOSAURS. Ugh!_

"I'm gonna go to bed," she told Ross. She looked at the two beds in the room, already occupied. "Um, anywhere I can sleep?"

"Oh, yeah." Ross pulled a blanket out from under his bed, not seeing the toy dinosaur he'd thrown back there earlier trailing behind it.

Rachel giggled. "That one of your toys, there?"

Ross froze. _No, no, I've been betrayed by the dinosaurs!_

"Betrayed?", asked Rachel, disbelieving and with a smug smile.

_I have GOT to stop doing that_, thought Ross.

"Sorry, sorry, I must of . . .um," he looked at Rachel. _God, her eyes . . ._ "Um, I guess it fell . . .back . . .there."

"Suuure." She gave him a "I'll humor you" look.

Ross laughed. He loved her little faces she made, the way her nose crumpled up when she laughed, they way she could always tell when he was covering up the truth.

"You can use this to sleep. The blanket, not the, uh, dinosaur." He grabbed the toy and threw it in his closet.

"Where are you going to sleep, then?"

Ross hadn't thought this through. "Um, I guess over there." He pointed to the other side of the floor.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm gonna use your bathroom before going to sleep."

Just as she entered the bathroom, Ross jumped up and ran to the door, yelling "NOOOOOO!" He fell onto the bathroom floor, quickly got up, and grabbed his dinosaur toothbrush.

"Well, okay, if you have to go first . . .", Rachel said in shock.

"No, no, all yours." Ross sheepishly returned to his sleeping spot. He threw the toothbrush into a drawer, and curled up on the ground, a little cold because the blanket he gave Rachel was the only one.

Rachel came out in her pajamas, which was a baggy shirt and a pair of flannel shorts, and her hair was in a messy ponytail. _Wow_, thought Ross.

"Hey, you don't have a blanket?", she asked. Ross shook his head. "You're welcome to share this one."

"Wh-what?" Ross was taken aback and had no clue what to do. Spend the night in the same blanket as Rachel? It was like a dream . . .

"Yeah, its pretty big, here." She threw him a corner of the blanket.

Well, he was still a few feet away from her. _But its better than not close at all_.

He curled up in his corner of the blanket, and Rachel curled up in hers. "Goodnight, Ross," she said.

"Goodnight, Rachel," he replied, and both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monica was looming over Ross, laughing in his face. "Haha- this is for all the times you called me fat!" He saw her lowering herself, and she sat on him.

"AHHHH!", yelled Ross, bolting up in his sleep. Rachel snapped up because the blanket had gotten pulled off her. Chandler and Monica continued sleeping as if nothing had happened.

"Whoa, Ross, what was that?", she looked at the clock on Ross's bedstand. "Its 4 in the morning, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, just a bad dream."

"Monica sit on you again?", she asked sympathetically. He looked at Rachel. _Dammit, Monica told her! _

"Uh, yeah," he said, embarrassed.

"Don't worry, I've had that one too," Rachel said with a smile, then curled into a ball and fell back asleep.

Ross watched her, unable to fall back asleep. He watched her chest slowly rise and fall as she breathed, watched her fidget around in her sleep. He could not take being this close to her, barely two feet of distance between them- sharing a blanket, no less- and not being able to do anything. If he was a confident guy, making a move would be so easy. But he wasn't a confident guy- he was Ross, the dinosaur guy. And this was _Rachel._ Just the thought of asking her out made him shake with apprehension.

The alarm went off about an hour after Ross fell asleep. Only Chandler woke up. He grabbed a pillow, and threw it at the alarm clock, making it fall to the ground. The plug came out of the wall, and the noise stopped.

Chandler usually hated waking up. But today, he was dreading it even more. Monica was still there, and he was under the impression that she really must hate him for calling her fat. He probably really upset her, which was probably why she was dieting now. _All these "probably"s! I need to know for sure!_ But of course, he could never act on that.

Chandler took one look at Monica sleeping in Ross's bed, and decided, once and for all, that he would put his feelings behind him. Maybe when they were older, he'd let them come back to the surface. He just didn't need this now, not when she must hate him . . .

Meanwhile, Monica was off in dream land. And it was a good dream. She was skinny, skinny enough to have guys notice her. And the one guy she wanted to did. She smiled in her sleep as she dreamed of Chandler asking her out.

Chandler glanced at her again. He couldn't help but smile. Whether he was allowing himself or not, he really just adored Monica. He wished she was awake, so he could steal one of those precious moments when she wasn't being a jerk to him. _Why has she always been a jerk to me?_, he wondered. She had been almost since they first met, before he heard that he called her fat. _Maybe its just because I'm her brother's stupid dorky friend with the Flock-of-Seagulls haircut. Although, I think it rocks. She just must not be a fan._

He sat there wondering. He saw Monica stir and wake up. He had no idea that she had just been dreaming of him.

"Good morning Chan," she said when she saw him looking at her. She was too sleepy and happy from her dream to bother pretending to hate him.

"Hi, Monica . . .say, you wanna grab some breakfast? There's a McDonalds down the road."

"Yeah . . .yeah, sure!"

The two of them got out of bed in silence and began to get ready. Every once in a while, one would catch the other looking at them and smile. They took turns using the bathroom. After Monica finished her turn, she came out ready to leave. Chandler took one look at her, and it was like she wasn't heavy. She was just perfect.

"Shall we?", he said, and held out his arm.

Monica realised how far this seemed to be going. "Uh, sure . . .geek!" She scampered out into the hallway, throwing a "Come on, slowpoke!" out behind her.

Chandler sighed. He had almost been there . . .but he couldn't help but laugh at her cute lame insults. He followed after her, leaving Rachel and Ross alone on the floor, still asleep and, somehow, less than a foot apart from each other, curled up in the same corner of the blanket.

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Chapter 3 should be up tomorrow, then I have some organizing of the next chapters to do (the original chapters were very short, these are all cut and combined) 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Do you guys honestly think I own them?

**A/N:** Just as a side note, this story seems all light and fluffy now, but I assure you, it gets a lot better haha. Like I said, this was my first fic, I wrote all this months ago, it got a lot better as I got used to it.

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Rachel woke up around noon. She felt something on her shoulder, and turned her head to see Ross laying right up next to her. She was a bit startled, but after looking at him fast asleep, she couldn't wake him up. And it was strange, but she didn't feel uncomfortable or weird that he was there. She shifted slightly to gain more comfort for herself, and just sat back and relaxed.

Ross woke up only a few minutes later, only to realize his head was buried in Rachel's shoulder.

"Oh wow . . .I'm sorry, how did I get over here?", he inquired, embarrassed.

"I don't know," she said with a smile. "I woke up and there you were. You must have rolled in your sleep."

"You didn't just shove my head over?", he asked with a laugh. Rachel shook her head.

"I didn't feel like waking you up, you seemed like you were still really tired."

"Yeah . . .yeah, I couldn't sleep last night."

"It wasn't easy for me, either . . ." She took a deep breath, as if about to tell him something.

"Are you okay?", asked Ross, unsure of what was about to come. He couldn't tell if this was a good moment, or a bad moment. And he was scared no matter which one it was. She looked at him, trying to find the right words to explain.

"Okay, Ross . . .I didn't tell you the whole truth about prom." Ross looked at her, with surprise on his face. "The truth is . . .Chip _was_ a jerk. A big one. I spent two hours looking for him."

" . . .Where was he?"

"In bed with another girl." Rachel looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I mean, I thought he was so perfect. Whats wrong with me, huh? Why did he have to . . .to do that?"

Ross was in shock. Yet, in a situation where he would normally have trouble finding the right words, they just came out. "I'm so sorry, Rach. I really am." He pulled her into a hug. "You don't deserve that, you're a really great girl. That guy doesn't know what he's missing."

Rachel smiled at him. "Thanks, Ross."

"Why didn't you tell me this last night?", he asked, pulling away.

"I don't know . . .I wanted to sound less pathetic, I guess. And you were already so sure that he was a jerk, and I didn't want to admit that you were right . . .to admit I made a mistake"

"That's not pathetic on your part, Rach. The guy's an idiot."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Why couldn't you admit I was right? I mean, he really was a jerk. _Look_ at you- he had no reason to do that."

"I know. You're right." She looked up at him. "Well . . .I guess I better get ready. Your mom's picking up Mon and me later today."

"Oh yeah . . .", Ross said, dissapointed. "Go ahead, you can use the bathroom first. Meanwhile, where did my roommate and sister go?"

Rachel retreated to the bathroom just as Ross heard laughing down the hall. It was Monica and Chandler . . .and for once, it wasn't Monica laughing _at_ Chandler. She was laughing _with_ him.

Ross went and opened the door just as Monica and Chandler got to it. " . . .this is new", he said, referring to the two of them getting along.

"What?", replied Monica, acting as if nothing was different. "I'm capable of being nice."

"Yeah, if your meal's being held hostage," Ross retorted.

"Hey, man, leave her alone!", Chandler warned him. Ross gave him a blank stare.

"Oh, so you're her bodyguard now? You might want to try that one the other way around, usually the bigger you are, the better you tackle."

Rachel came out of the bathroom, ready for the day, only to find Ross and Chandler in a fist-fight . . .or however close to one they could get. Neither was very tough, or very strong, or very skilled in "battle".

"Ross, Chandler, what are you doing?"

"CHANDLER, kick him in the leg!", Monica cheered on from the doorway. "Now Ross, pull his arm!"

"Monica, they could get hurt!" Rachel ran over to the fight, and tried to pull Ross out from under Chandler. When that proved unsuccessful, she hauled off and hit Chandler square on the back.

"OW!", he yelled in pain, stopping what he was doing. "What was that for?"

"What the hell is going on?", she demanded.

"I don't know, he started attacking me!", said Ross, out of breath.

"He was making fun of Monica!"

"So? He always does that," replied Rachel, confused.

"Well . . .its not very nice!" Chandler stopped to think for a second. "Were you cheering him on, too?", he asked Monica.

"You both fight like girls, so I couldn't really pick a winner to cheer for," she said.

"Whatever . . ." Ross really didn't know what was going on. Why had Chandler just tried to jump him? He usually joined in the Monica jokes when she wasn't around, so why would he care if Ross said them when she was? "Umm, Rachel? Wanna go get a bite to eat..."

"Yeah, sure." Rachel was confused too. Did Chandler like Monica back? She gave the two one last curious glance before following Ross out into the hallway.

However, both were stopped short by Monica and Ross's mother walking up the hallway.

"Hello Ross!", she said, and gave him a big hug. "I'm here to get the girls! I came a bit early, I'm sure you don't mind."

Ross's hopes sunk. He had just about to leave with Rachel, just the two of them. His mom had the worst timing.

"Hi, mom. I don't think they're ready . . .", he looked hopelessly at Rachel.

"Yeah, we need to pack," she told his mom. Monica nodded in agreement.

"This could take awhile," said Chandler.

"Mom, why don't we go get some lunch and let them pack?", asked Ross.

"Sure," his mother replied skeptically. "Um . . .just the two of us." Chandler flashed Ross a "what-is-up-with-her?" look. Ross shrugged back and led his mom out.

"So . . .", Rachel stared knowingly at Monica and Chandler. "Sounds like you two were having fun."

Monica and Chandler exchanged glances. "I dunno, I was feeling in a good mood," replied Monica. "I had a good dream."

Chandler jumped to his usual defensive ways to reply. "Yeah, well you were pretty cozy with Ross there."

Rachel turned beet red. "There was only one blanket . . .he just kinda rolled . . .nothing happened!", she blurted out, in an attempt to explain.

"Suuure," said Chandler with a sly smile. "You do know he's got it bad for you, right?"

Rachel's blush turned an even deeper shade of scarlet. "Yes," she said, in a tone that said "duh". "I just don't see him that way," she tried to convince them.

"Yeah, Chandler. Rachel doesn't like my brother- eww!"

_I don't _think_ I like your brother_, thought Rachel. _I'm just not sure ..._

Chandler felt like he should leave to let the girls gab. "Well, guys, I think I'm gonna go for a walk . . .to . . .think," he told them, uncertain of what just came out of his mouth.

"Okay," said Monica, a little dissapointed. "I'll see you this summer?", she asked him hopefully.

"Yeah, sure." He smiled at her and left.

Rachel stared at the door. "Chandler can think?" Monica flashed her a "har-har" smile and began packing. Rachel joined her.

"Ya know," said Rachel. "I actually had fun last night."

"I fell asleep, what happened?"

"Well, I don't know, when the movie finished we just talked." She looked at Monica. "Chandler kept looking at you sleeping. Then when we brought it up, he acted really strange and then went right to bed. It was weird."

"He did?" Monica tried to hide a smile.

"Yeah . . .yeah, is there anything going on, you know, between-"

"NO! No, with that loser? Never!" She glanced at the door. " . . .We did have a good time at breakfast, though." Monica smiled to herself, remembering a funny conversation the two of them had there. She had tried so hard to make him think she hated him, but she was really beginning to like being friends. But she didn't want to admit anything to Rachel, so she tried to change the subject. "So what did you do after Chandler went to bed?"

"Oh, I don't know. Talked to Ross a little, but then we went to bed, too."

"Oh yeah, same blanket." Monica realized that they never got an explanation about that, and she was extremely curious. "What was that about?"

"There was only one, come on. Its not my fault they're too cheap to buy two blankets, they're college guys! Its what they do."

"Uh-huh," Monica replied. She looked up from what she was doing to see Rachel. A big smile was spread across her face, and Monica could have sworn she heard her humming quietly to herself. She was somewhat shocked at what she was witnessing.

_Rachel is falling hard for Ross!_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Come on, Monica. God, you brother could always carry his own suitcase, I don't see why you need . . ._Chandler_," their mom made a face, "to help you."

"Mom, will you calm down, he's just giving me a hand." She shoved her pillow into her dufflebag. Chandler grabbed one end, she grabbed the other, and they heaved it off the ground.

"Yes, well, I'll come with to . . .er, supervise." Monica, Chandler, and Mrs. Gellar left the dorm room with Monica's stuff.

Rachel finished stuffing the last of her things in her huge suitcase. "God, I really didn't need all these clothes."

"Yeah, it was only one night," Ross replied with a laugh.

"Well, I wanted to be prepared. In case we went anywhere, you know." She zipped up the luggage, and turned to Ross.

"Yeah . . .I'm sorry we didn't get to take you to any parties. Monica said that was the only reason you came."

"I actually don't mind. It was still fun," she told him, and smiled. "Would you mind helping me with this? Oh, and lets try just dragging it this time."

"My back thanks you," he replied, causing her to giggle.

The two of them took ahold of the large strap at the top of the suitcase, and dragged it out into the hallway, down the stairs, and out into the parking lot, where the others were waiting. Mrs. Gellar was already at the wheel, with Monica sitting shotgun, and Chandler chatting to her through the window. Rachel saw Monica excessively giggling while her mother looked on worried. _Could Mon be any more obvious?_

Ross pulled the trunk open, and the two of them attempted to heave the suitcase in. Chandler caught them in the corner of his eye, failing miserably.

"You know what, Mon, I think I should go help them before your brother breaks another vertabre." He looked at her. "This summer?"

"This summer," Monica replied, with a smile. He waved, and walked to the back of the car to help, while Mrs. Gellar began to question Monica about Chandler's behavior during the visit.

"Have no fear, Chandler's here!", he exclaimed. He took a hold of the bottom of the suitcase, and helped Ross and Rachel get it into the trunk. They thanked him, then just stood there. Chandler sensed that he should leave them alone. "I'm gonna head back inside, catch ya there Ross."

"So . . ." Ross looked at Rachel. Rachel lifted her head and met his gaze. For a moment, Ross lost himself in her eyes. She found herself unable to look away, too. Eventually, though, she broke the silence.

"Thanks for everything, Ross. Really, I mean it. You made me feel better about the whole prom thing."

He smiled at her. "That's why I'm here." He pulled her into a tight hug, and the two of them stood there a moment. Ross got himself to pull away. "Bye, Rachel. I'll see you this summer."

"Yeah," she said back. He looked at her, and in a moment of courage, bent down and kissed her cheek, taking her by surprise. He gave her a smile, said goodbye, and turned to go back to the dorm.

"Bye . . ." She touched the place on her cheek where he kissed her. _He kissed me . . .on the cheek, but still!_ She realized how much strength that must have taken him to do. _Wow . . ._

She smiled, turned around, and got into the backseat of the car.

"Why did you take so long?", asked Monica from the front seat, as Mrs. Gellar began to leave the parking lot.

"Oh, nothing. Just trouble with the suitcase."

"Yeah, you needed about one percent of what you brought," Monica said back.

Rachel didn't even hear her, she had other things on her mind. She smiled to herself, and stared out of the window as they drove back home.

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Fluff is fun but I like this story so much better further on... haha. Reviews would rock! 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** whines Do I gotta?

**A/N:** It might be a while til another update, a day or two (like, longer than 24 hours lol). Since this fic, except the ending, is already complete, I've been cutting/combining my original short chapters. With the next few, I cant decide how to edit it, so it could take awhile. I might have to write a whole new part even. So I dunno lol (BTW, everyone's reviews have been really sweet! Thanks!)

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A few months went by. Monica's diet continued, and she lost a ton of weight. Rachel got her nose fixed. Ross and Chandler got new haircuts. While the only two who communicated were Monica and Ross, everyone wondered about each other and the upcoming summer...

_Should I invite Chandler to my graduation party, or would that be obvious? . . ._

_Will Rachel have a new boyfriend? . . ._

_So I guess Monica doesn't hate me, but could I be wrong?. . ._

_Why can't I stop thinking about Ross? It was just a kiss on the cheek! DINOSAURS!_

Rachel sat in her room, writing a list of who to invite to her graduation party. Monica and her had decided to have a joint party, and had told each other it would just be so it would be bigger than individual ones. Rachel only agreed because, secretly, it gave an excuse to invite Ross. Because ever since that visit, he was all she could think about. But it was Ross, just normal, geeky, Monica's-older-brother Ross. He hadn't changed . . .but something in that visit changed her. And she had to find out for sure.

The phone rang, and Rachel's sister Amy picked it up downstairs.

"RACHEL? PHONE FOR YOU, I THINK ITS THAT FAT ONE," she yelled up the stairs.

"Is the phone for me?", Rachel heard her other sister Jill ask Amy.

"Yes, Jill, I just yelled about Rachel's fat friend, only to give the phone to you."

Rachel picked up the phone in her room. "Hello?"

"Hey, Rach. Its Monica Geller."

"I only know one Monica, hon."

"Well, I just wanted to be sure. Anyway, I've composed a list of decorations, food, and music for the party. You're on the decorations committee, okay? I'm on the food committee. Do you have any idea for the music committee? My mom said Ross, but he still won't show me his 'Sound' on his keyboard, so that scares me." Monica was talking a mile a minute.

"I'll do the music, Mon. Slow down a take a breath!"

"You can't be on two committees! That throws everything off balance!" Monica worriedly jotted down some notes on her paper pad. "Ok, how about I'm on food, you're on decorations, and we both do music?"

"Fine, fine. What about guests?"

"Ahhh, invitations! Guests! I completely forgot!" She began launching into a rant over what to do about the forgotton branch.

"Mon? . . .Mon! . . .MONICA!" yelled Rachel, trying to get her attention.

"What?"

"I have a guest list, its all good." Before Monica could worry about the imbalance in the responsibilities, Rachel added, "And then you can do music."

"Okay, okay, I like that! Who are we inviting, then?"

Rachel began reading off a list of classmates, friends, and the like. And the end of the list, she asked, "Do you want Chandler to come?"

"Why do you ask?", shot Monica, getting definsive.

"So Ross has someone to hang out with."

"We're inviting Ross?"

"Duh- he's your brother." _Please be okay with him coming._

"Fine, yeah. Ask Chandler to come." Inside, that had just made Monica happier than balancing out the party committees.

"Okay, I'll start these invitations."

"Meaning you'll get your dad to pay for them to be printed?"

"That, too. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Don't forget about decorations. This party's gonna be the best!"

The two hung up. Rachel sat back on her bed, happy that Ross would be coming, while Monica got busy with the food and music preparations.

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Chandler checked the mail, and found an envelope adressed to both himself and Ross. He curiously looked at it while walking back to the dorm room.

"Hey, man, I think people are getting the wrong idea," he said jokingly as he showed his roommate the envelope. "I mean, I don't know about you, but I only see you as a friend."

"Har har." He took the letter and looked at the envelope. "Oh my God, the return address is the Green's!"

"Not the broccoli and peas! I hate them, I'm so much more of a tomato guy." Ross flashed him a look, and Chandler got serious. "Why do you think Rachel would want us?"

"I don't know." He sat there staring at the letter.

Chandler stared at his buddy for a moment. "_Open_ it?"

"Right, right!" Ross ripped the envelope open, took out the card and began reading. " 'You are invited to Rachel Green and Monica Geller's High School Graduation Party.' Oh, its just their party."

"I'm invited?", asked Chandler. "Monica invited me?"

"Or Rachel. But yeah. I'm not doing anything this night," he indicated the date on the invitation. "And since I'm not, you're definatly not. So you wanna go? I'm bound by family, unfortunatly, but you might be able to weasel your way out of this."

Secretly, Ross just wanted to be able to talk to Rachel without his sister or Chandler hanging around, making fun of everyone and cracking jokes. Since they parted, Ross had a new feeling of accomplishment. He had kissed her cheek- he didn't know how he got himself to, but he did. And he had hope that maybe, just maybe, he could get the strength to ask her out.

"No, no, man. I'll go. Don't want to let down the girls, now, do we?" _Monica invited me, Monica invited me, I just know it!_, he thought to himself.

"Well, whatever . . .OH MY GOD!", he yelled, as one thought crept into his mind. "What do I get Rachel?"

"What do I get Monica?"

Ross stared at Chandler. "You're getting Mon something?"

"Well, you're getting Rachel something. Why don't we just both chip in for a present for each of them?" Chandler mostly liked this arrangement because he was low on cash, and all the pressure of Monica's present wouldn't soley be on him.

"No, I want to get Rach something just from me. Something special . . .I just don't know what."

"Fine, we'll get seperate presents." He got an idea. "Hey, how about since Monica's your sister, and you've always gotten gifts for her, I'll get Monica something? And then you can handle Rachel."

"Yeah . . .that sounds good. I'll get Rachel something, you'll get Monica something . . .yeah."

"Hey, so can I borrow 20 bucks?"

Ross gave Chandler a blank stare, and went to sit down at his desk. He pulled out a notebook, opened up to a blank page, and grabbed a pen. He wrote at the top "Present Ideas For Rachel".

_Hmm. What do I get her that means something? Meaningful gifts . . .yes, because I am _so _talented in this area._

He crossed his arms on the desk and laid his head on them, at a complete loss as to what to buy Rachel.

Meanwhile, Chandler was sitting on his bed, trying to figure out the same dilemma, only with Monica.

"Hey, Ross," he yelled. "What does your sister like?"

"McDonalds giftcards?", he suggested, without raising his head.

"No, man, she's on a diet . . .slim fast? No, that's obvious. I am so bad at this!" He laid back and closed his eyes, deep in thought, until something dawned on him. "I have the perfect idea!" He jumped up, threw on a hat, and ran into the hallway, eager to get to a store.

"Wanna lend me one?", Ross called after him. He still had no clue. Why was this so hard?

_Because its Rachel. Everything with Rachel is hard. _

He banged his head on the desk, over and over again.

_What do I get her?_

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More of your lovely reviews would be amazing! 3 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Do you really think I own anything?

**A/N: **This chapter's a bit shorter than the others, sorry. LoL.

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Party day had arrived. Newly slim Monica woke up early in the morning, eager to get to Rachel's house and begin getting ready. She got ready for the day, grabbed a dress out of her closet, and drove her mom's car over to Rachel's.

She knocked on the door, and Rachel answered it. "Hey Mon."

"Did you do the decorations?"

"Yes."

"And everyone has RSVPed?"

"Yes, yes, they're all coming. Do you have the food and music?"

"Mom's bringing the food later, and I have a ton of music in here." She showed Rachel a huge stack of records she had in a big bag that was slung over her shoulder.

"Hmm . . .okay, so we'll be using _my_ records," Rachel said, after reviewing what Monica brought. "So, on to more important things. What are you wearing?"

Monica pulled out her dress, which was neatly folded up in her bag. She showed Rachel, who made a face.

"You do realize you're not huge anymore, right?"

"Well, I was thinking, we can pin it here," she indicated the waist.

"Well, I'm thinking we throw it out and you can borrow something of mine."

"Okay, if you think this is really that bad . . ."

"Oh," Rachel took the dress. "It is."

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Chandler was nervously getting ready. He was shaking, much too nervous over giving Monica the gift that he'd gotten her. It wasn't an ordinary gift, this was special. He had decided, once and for all, that he would tell her tonight. He didn't care if she really did hate him. He would tell her everything.

He just didn't know how.

He fiddled with his gift, and stared at himself in the mirror. _Keep it together, man. You can do this._

Ross was battling a similar problem. After hours of thinking so hard that his brain ached, he managed to think of a heart-felt gift for Rachel. He had no idea what would happen at the party- or even if anyhting would. He prayed for another surge of courage, like he had gotten last time. Unfortunatly, he also was filled with fear- fear of rejection, fear of messing it up for good . . .fear of Rachel.

Uncertainly, he grabbed the small box that held his gift for Rachel. "You ready?"

"Ready as ever," said Chandler, realising he'd never been more unprepared in his life.

The two left their dorm, hopped in Ross's car, and began the drive to the the Green's house. Neither spoke the whole way there, both were rehearsing to themselves. Chandler stared at his present, hoping Monica would like it. Ross tried to keep concentrated on the road, but his hands shook as he thought of giving his present to Rachel.

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When they got to the party, Ross opened the door and entered. There were tons of people in the big living room, but there was no denying one of the hostess's presence.

"Hey Ross, hey Chandler!", came a loud voice from somewhere in the crowd. Monica emerged out of a group of people. Chandler stared at her in awe. She looked amazing, he had never seen someone look like that before. He stuffed his gift in his pocket before greeting her back.

"Hi, so who are you?", he asked jokingly.

"Its me Chandler," Monica replied with a playful smile. "Monica."

"Monica? No, Monica could have eaten you for lunch."

She laughed. "Well come in guys, join the party!" Seeing her brother nervously glance around at all the people, she told him, "Rachel's around here somewhere, want me to get her for you?"

"No, thats ok. I'll find her . . ."

Monica left to go attend to some food in the kitchen. Chandler sheepishly headed another direction. _She's even prettier now. These guys must be drooling over her . . .I don't stand a chance._

Ross scanned the party, and then BAM. He saw her. She was looking radiant as she chatted with some fellow cheerleaders. Ross noticed her nose was different . . .normally, he wouldn't have supported a move like that. But she looked twenty times happier, and he couldn't help but admit that she looked even more beautiful.

All of a sudden, Rachel looked away from her friends and caught his eye. Her heart began pounding in her chest, it felt like it was doing flips it was beating so fast.

"Guys, we'll catch up later. I have to go say hi to someone . . ." The girls all left her, off to flirt with some football players who'd just arrived. Rachel noticed Ross coming her way, so she stayed put, trying to avoid his gaze, scared over what might happen.

Ross was stopped half-way there by his mother. Looking dissapointed, he began chatting with her. Rachel left her spot to get something to drink, because all of a sudden she felt sick to her stomach. She stared at Ross across the room, who was too busy with his mom to notice she had moved. _Please notice I'm over here now, please._

As she waited, the record that was currently playing ended. Monica, being in charge of the music (whether they were her records or not), went and put on a Heart record. With each passing minute, Rachel wished Ross would just finish with his mom and come over. Because the more time she spent by herself, the more scared and confused she became. The new record began playing as Rachel and Ross locked gazes again from across the room.

_I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you_

_I'm pretending, and that's all I can do_

_The love I'm sending ain't making it through_

_To your heart_

_You've been hiding, never letting it show_

_Always trying to keep it under control..._

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If you can tell me how to disable the block on anonymous reviews I seem to have on, please do! Cause I dont know how to turn it off haha. But reviews would be lovelyyy 


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **So again, this is slightly short. But the story gets SO much better from this point on, haha.

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"Ross, what are you looking at?"

Ross couldn't bring himself to tear himself away from Rachel's eyes.

"Ross? Are you paying attention?"

He reluctantly turned his focus back to his mother. She must have assumed he had nothing better to do at this party, because she kept asking him everything. How was college, how did he do on his final, what he was doing this summer, could he take his sister with. People began leaving the party. The crowd thinned. Ross glanced back at the spot where Rachel had been.

She was still there, waiting for him. A guy from her class came and asked her to dance. Ross saw her politely decline the offer. After the guy left, she turned her head towards him, staring him straight in the eyes.

Across the room, he silently understood that she needed to talk to him.

"Mom, I'll catch up with you later, okay? I gotta do something . . ."

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Meanwhile, Chandler was debating with himself, a battle raging in his own mind. _Just go up and talk to her, its not hard . . .really, its not. What's the worst she can say? _An unsettling thought entered his mind. _What if she really does hate me?_

He saw Monica out of the corner of his eye. His gaze followed her as she finished cleaning up the last of the remaining food, threw it out, and went upstairs to Rachel's bedroom. He took a deep breath, gathered up all the stength he had, and followed her.

He saw that the door was closed, so he knocked.

"Hold on," he heard her call from inside. A few moments later, she came and opened the door. She was no longer in the dress she had borrowed from Rachel, but she'd thrown on a tank top paired with some flannel pajama bottoms. "Oh, hi Chandler. Sorry, I was just changing since the party's basically over. Come on in, I've just gotta put some of this stuff away." She gestured to some of her things laying around Rachel's room.

"Great party, hostess."

She turned to him and smiled. "Yeah, it was pretty wild wasn't it? I barely saw you, did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, I did," he lied, knowing that telling the truth would hurt her feelings. Monica always had to be a good hostess.

"Did you need something?", she asked, turning to him expectantly.

"Uh . . ." Now that the moment had come, Chandler found himself frozen. He was too big of a coward, and not ashamed to admit it to himself. There was absolutly no way he could go through with this. "Here," he said quickly, taking his hand out of his pocket and thrusting the small, badly wrapped package at Monica. Before she could say anything, he got out of there as fast as he could.

On his way out of the house, Ross had finally begun making his way to Rachel when Chandler caught him in the shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

"Just out for a walk. I don't know when I'll be back, just wait for me I guess."

Chandler threw the front door open, slammed it shut behind him, and began walking. He didn't know where he was going, only that he had to get as far away from that place as he could.

Back in Rachel's room, Monica stood there in shock. _What had just happened? Why was Chandler acting like that? _She had no idea, so she turned her attention to the gift he'd given her. She sat on Rachel's bed, and ripped the wrapping paper off. Inside she found a cassette and a note.

_Monica_

_Congrats on graduating high school. I really am proud of you. This is a gift from me, its just a song that made me think of you. I don't know if I'll have gone through on my plan by the time you get this, but if I haven't (which, knowing me, is probably the situation you're finding yourself in now), this should explain everything._

_Chandler_

Confused, and desperate to find what Chandler meant by the note, she searched Rachel's room for a cassette player. _Ugh, her room is so dirty, how do people live like this?_ She found one underneath a sweater on Rachel's dresser. As quickly as she could, with her hands shaking with fear of what this would reveal, she put the cassette in and pressed play.

_Someday, when I'm awfully low_

_When the world is cold, I will feel a glow_

_Just thinking of you_

_And the way you look tonight  
_

_Oh, but you're lovely, with your smile so warm_

_And your cheek so soft, there is nothing for me_

_But to love you_

_Just the way you look tonight_

Before the song finished, Monica slammed the stop button. She was breathing hard, and she could not believe her ears. Tears came to her eyes. "Oh my God . . ." _He doesn't . . ._She thought back to everything. How great they had gotten along the last time they saw each other, how weird he had acted when he gave her the tape. How he had recorded this song for her before he'd seen her, _this_ her. He'd only known the ...well, larger version. And he still had thought she was beautiful. _Oh my God, he does. He loves me. _

Monica slumped against the wall of Rachel's bedroom, having no idea of how she should be reacting. Then one thought entered her mind.

_I love him, too._

"Chandler!", she yelled, realising how far away he probably was right now. She ran down the stairs, noticed he was no longer in the house, and ran out the front door.

"Chandler? Chandler!", she shouted into the night, not seeing him anywhere in sight. She began running down the block, intent on finding him. She came across a park with a playground, and saw someone a bit larger than a child on one of the swings. "Chandler?"

He turned around to see who had called his name. Upon realising it was Monica, he fell off in surprise. She ran over to him as he was getting up.

"Chandler . . .that was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me." Her eyes became filled with tears. He looked at her, dumbfounded. She lowered her eyes, as if trying to decide something. When it was apparent she reached a decision, she raised her eyes to meet his. "I love you, too."

He stared back at her, disbelieving. "You . . .you what?"

"I love you."

And with that, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Finally, it seemed Chandler's brain calmed down enough to realise what had just happened. _She loves me._

He put his arms around her waist and kissed back, never wanting to let go. He knew that this was the best day of his life. And she was thinking the same thing.

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Hehehe. You think this was cute? Just wait. haha. Reviews would rock my socksss off. 


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thanks for the great reviews, everyone. :-) Y'all are awesome.

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After what seemed like ages of waiting, looking, and wondering, Ross reached Rachel's side. And while she had been able to look him in the eye from across the room, she felt herself becoming shy all of a sudden. Her eyes darted to the ground as she tried to avoid his gaze. Ross could tell something was bothering her, but he noticed that the last of the guests were still in the room.

"You wanna go somewhere and talk?", he asked her. She looked up at him and nodded.

She grabbed his hand, taking him by surprise, and led him into her backyard. There was a bench among her mom's garden, and she let go of Ross's hand and sat on it. Ross followed, but remained standing in front of her.

"Here . . .I got this for you." He handed Rachel the small box his gift was in. She took it, surprised because she hadn't expected anything. There was no card, no wrapping paper. Just a small silver box.

She opened this and found a smaller, green velvet box inside. She snapped this open, and found a necklace with a tiny gold heart. It was so beautiful, and she could tell that this gift really meant something.

"Oh wow, Ross. . .its gorgeous. Thank you." She looked up at him and smiled.

He returned the smile, and found the same rush of courage that he last had with her a few months ago.

"You know, I've had a crush on you for, like, ever."

Rachel smiled, and blushed. "Yeah . . .I knew," she replied, and chuckled.

"Oh." He laughed. "Guess its not an easy thing to hide."

Rachel stood up, stared at Ross a moment, then hugged him. Ross hugged her back. They stood in silence in each others arms. Both noticed how right it felt to be with each other.

Eventually, Rachel began to pull away. Ross expected her to walk back to the house, but she surprised him by bringing her hands to his face and kissing him. Ross couldn't believe it- he was finally kissing Rachel Green. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and prayed that this meant as much to her as it did to him.

It wasn't a very long kiss, mostly because Ross was in complete shock. Noticing this, Rachel pulled away and looked at him questioningly.

"Umm..." He gulped. Rachel laughed and leaned back in, and they kissed again- this one being much longer, much deeper, and meaning even more than the first.

When the kiss ended, Rachel pulled Ross down to sit on the bench, and she sat next to him. He was still surprised, and confused at what had just happened.

"So . . .Rach, does this mean . . ." he trailed off.

"Does it mean what?", she asked him with a smile.

"Do you . . .have feelings for me?"

"Why, gee, no. I just kissed you for the hell of it," she told him sarcastically.

He laughed. "Wow, I just . . .this is crazy."

"Yeah, isn't it?" She smiled, and Ross put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned on his chest, and they stayed up for hours talking, cuddling, and watching the stars- with the occasional kiss in between.

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Down the street at the park, Monica and Chandler were having a swinging contest. They liked that each other finally knew how the other felt- it was like they could finally have a good time, no more fake insults.

"Okay, on three," yelled Chandler, as he pumped higher and higher on his swing.

"One . . .two," they shouted together. "THREE!"

They both jumped off their swings. Chandler hit the ground first, and Monica landed on top of him not a second later. They were both hysterical, not able to contain their laughter. Monica rolled onto her side next to Chandler, holding her stomach because she was giggling so hard. But next to her, she heard Chandler stop cold.

Confused, she turned back over to face him. "What?", she asked, still through laughter.

"I just wanted to do this," he said, and he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

When they pulled away, they smiled at each other. Monica leaned in, and Chandler wrapped his arms around her as they stared at the night sky.

_You found me when no one else was looking_

_How did you know just where I would be?_

_You broke through all of my confusion_

_The ups and the downs, and you still didn't leave_

_I guess that you found what nobody could see_

_You found me_

Meanwhile, Rachel fell asleep with her head buried in Ross's shoulder. Ross sat there, still holding her around the shoulder, and sighed to himself. _This is the best day of my life._

"Ross, are you out there?", he heard Rachel's mom call out the back door.

"Yeah, I'm right here Mrs. Green. Rachel's just fallen asleep."

"Oh. Do you know where Monica and Chandler are? You're mother can't find them."

Thinking fast, Ross called back, "I think they went on a walk, just tell my mom that Monica's spending the night."

"Ok dear, thank you!" Mrs. Green went back into the house.

The noise caused Rachel to stir in her sleep. "Go back to sleep, Rach," he told her with a smile. He knew how tired she must be.

She looked up at him, gave him a soft kiss, and rested her head back on Ross's shoulder. She was quickly asleep again.

Ross rested his own head on the top of hers, as he felt his eyelids get heavy. After a few minutes, he, too, fell asleep with a big smile on his face.

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Nothing would make me happier than more of your wonderful reviews! 


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Someone posed the view that it was way to early in my fic to have Monica and Chandler already saying "I love you." Yeah, I kinda realized that after I wrote it, its just that I wrote that like 2 months ago, this is the first fic I ever wrote haha. I wanted to get to the point. Plus, Ross and Rachel are my favorite couple, and I kinda liked writing about them better, so I was trying to tie up the Mondler storyline haha. So yeah, I realize its unrealistic, but please just hang in there :-P

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"Guys- wake up!" Monica furiously shook Ross and Rachel, who were still asleep on the bench in the Green's backyard. "You've been sleeping like 2 hours, Rachel's mom is getting mad!"

Rachel bolted straight up, while Ross was slumped back against the bench, obviously half asleep. "What time is it?", asked Rachel.

"Its like 2am, you guys better get inside! We tried to cover for you..."

Rachel noticed Chandler's arm was wrapped snugly around Monica's waist at the same time Monica noticed Ross's arm around Rachel.

"NO!", they both gasped at each other.

"I sense some girl talk coming, allow me to leave," said Chandler. "I love you, sweetie."

Monica became flushed. "I love you too." He gave her a quick kiss, and poked Ross hard.

"OW!"

"Get up, man, lets go!"

"Aww, you're going home?" Monica was dissapointed.

"We'll wait in the house," Ross sleepishly answered, not noticing how his best friend and sister were acting. He only had eyes for Rachel.

"We won't be too long," Rachel told Ross, and gave him a smile. He leaned in and kissed her for what was meant to be a quick peck, but deepened quickly.

"WHOA!", yelled Chandler. "Let's keep it PG, and when did this happen?" Monica was beaming at her best friend and brother.

Ross and Rachel quickly pulled apart, and Ross reluctantly got up. He blew Rachel a kiss, and went back to the house with Chandler, where they made up a story as to their whereabouts the past few hours. Rachel's parents believed the fib, and went to bed.

"When did that happen?", Monica asked Rachel excitedly.

"Umm," Rachel thought a moment. "A few hours ago?"

"I can't believe you like him! You must have made him the happiest guy ever."

"Look who's talking! I knew you liked Chandler!"

Monica began to blush. "Well, Rach . . .I think we're kinda in . . .well, love."

"So I heard you two," she replied. "Good for you, I'm surprised it took so long."

"Well, it just took Ross about 5 years to get you." Monica laughed. "Do you love him?"

"Wow, Mon, I . . .I don't know. Love? I think its too early to say." Seeing Monica's worried face, Rachel changed her answer a bit. "Oh, I'm sure eventually . . .maybe . . .look, I've never even . . ." It was a lost cause. Rachel gave in. "I don't know if I love him. But I'm sure you love Chandler, and he loves you. With me and Ross, its just . . .different. This is new to me, I just need time I guess."

Monica nodded, looking a little relieved. "Maybe we should go back inside, they're waiting for us."

The girls gave each other hugs, each happy for the other. They began walking back up to the house, and found Ross waiting for Rachel at the backdoor, and Chandler waiting for Monica a little further in.

Rachel stopped at Ross, and Monica continued inside. Ross smiled at Rachel, and pulled her close to him. She smiled back and put her arms around his neck.

"So, what are we then?", Rachel asked him.

"I dunno . . .what," he teased back.

"OH MY GOD, ask her out already!", shouted an impatient Monica from inside. She was sitting on Chandler's lap on a couch by an open window, both obviously eavesdropping on Ross and Rachel. Ross shot his sister an annoyed look.

"Look, maybe we better go, that's the death look," said Chandler. Monica got up, and the two walked hand-in-hand to Rachel's room to wait for them.

Ross turned his attention back to the waiting Rachel. "So, that being _so_ romantic," he said jokingly. "Will you?"

"Will I be your girlfriend?" He nodded. "Well, I'd be stupid if I said no."

Ross heaved a big sigh of relief, because even after everything that happened that night, asking her that question was so hard to do. Old habits don't change.

Rachel stodd on her tiptoes and kissed Ross. They then hugged, and walked up to Rachel's room, Ross's arm around her shoulder, and hers around his waist.

The four of them put on a movie. Chandler and Monica cuddled under a blanket on Rachel's bedroom floor, both asleep quickly into the movie. Ross fell asleep about an hour following, with Rachel leaning on his chest. Noticing she was the last one awake, she turned off her television and fell asleep as well.

Ross and Chandler decided to stay for the summer. Ross stayed at home, and Chandler stayed at a guest room at Rachel's because of Ross's mom. He still didn't get why she was like that with him . . .

The boys spent all of their time with Monica and Rachel. And while they would all four go to the movies together, or to get a bite to eat, each one secretly liked just being alone with each other.

3 weeks after the party, Rachel was over at Ross and Monica's while their parents were on vacation. The four sat in the backyard around a bonfire. Chandler was sitting on a small wooden bench, Monica on his lap, while Ross and Rachel cuddled on the ground. Chandler was telling about a funny dream he'd had the previous night.

"So THEN, I realized that the clown . . .well, maybe I shouldn't go there. Horrible dream, anyway." Everyone made a face.

"Yeah, thanks for that, man. Quite the mental image," said a disgusted Ross.

"I don't think I can ever look at the circus the same way again," added Rachel. She shivered, despite the fact that the fire was still roaring. "Ross, I'm freezing, do you have a blanket inside?"

"Yeah, in my room, hold on." He gave her a quick kiss, and ran to the house.

Rachel rubbed her arms, covered in goosebumps from the chilly night air. She smiled at Monica and Chandler. "So . . .how are you two?"

"Great," Monica replied, with a smile. Chandler gave her a squeeze. Rachel smiled at them. _I can't believe it took them so long..._

They sat in silence for some time, waiting for Ross to come back down. Rachel became impatient.

"Geez, if he can't find a blanket in five minutes . . .", she began complaining, and she got up and went to the house.

When she reached Ross's room, she knocked on the door. "Ross? How hard is it to find a blanket!"

"DON'T COME IN!", he yelled, but it was too late.

Rachel opened to door. The room was full of candles, with rose petals everywhere. Ross stood with a lighter in his hand- only half the candles were lit.

"Ughh, I wasn't ready!", he said dissapointed. Rachel looked around the room- despite the dinosaur models and science awards on the walls, it really did look like he put some work into this.

"Is this . . .for me?", she asked, disbelievingly.

"Yeah, but its not done . . .you were supposed to wait til I called you up!"

"I didn't know that! I thought you were taking a long time getting a blanket!"

"Okay, okay. Sorry, its not your fault Rach." He heaved a sigh and sat on his bed.

"What was this all for, anyway?" Ross mumbled something that she couldn't understand. "Hmm?"

He stood up, went over to her, and took her hands in his. "I was gonna tell you I love you," he said, more clear.

Rachel stared at him, unable to move, unable to speak. She had absolutely no idea how to respond to what had just come out of his mouth. She tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was, "Errggg..."

Ross's heart pounded in his chest. _She's not saying anything, why isn't she saying anything? _

Greatly let down, he dropped her hands. "Rach, I'm sorry if that was too soon, but it really is how I feel . . .and I guess I understand if you don't feel the same way. Just know that these past few weeks . . .they've been the best of my life."

Rachel remained mute, idle in front of him. He began to leave, but turned around before reaching the door.

"This was gonna be for you." He started his record player.

_Wise men say, only fools rush in_

_But I can't help_

_Falling in love with you..._

He almost got out the door. "Wait," Rachel called out to him. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her, a bit scared at what he might hear next. "Do you really . . .," she swallowed hard. "l-love me?" He nodded.

She stood there another second. Then all of a sudden, she ran towards Ross, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him the biggest hug of his life. "I love you, too," she whispered in his ear. He pushed her back and held her out at arm's length.

"You sure?", he asked with a laugh.

"Yeah." She was grinning from ear to ear.

He pushed a stray hair out of her face, leaned in, and kissed her passionatly.

_As the river flows, surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

The kiss intensified. Rachel felt Ross's hand go up her shirt. Before she knew it, her shirt wasn't even on, and she hadn't even remembered taking it off . . .she reached for Ross's, and began unbuttoning it. Still liplocked, Ross threw his shirt to the ground, and pushed Rachel up against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her over to the bed.

However, upon reaching it, he tripped on his shirt and dumped Rachel on the bed as he fell to the ground.

"Oh, that was suave," he said sarcastically. Rachel lay on the bed, cracking up at him. Leave it to Ross to do something like that.

He scrambled up, and gave her an adorable smile with a hint of guilt. "If you wait too long, the moment's gonna get ruined," she said, after she finally stopped laughing.

He rolled on top of her on the bed, and kissed her neck as they finished undressing each other.

This was neither's first time, but somehow, it was different. Both was used to the confusion, the awkwardness of being with someone for the first time. But this time, it seemed effortless, almost choreographed. Everything just went perfectly, as if it was meant to be. They both somehow knew exactly what to do.

After they were done, Ross collapsed on the bed next to Rachel. They were both breathing heavily, exhausted.

"Wow . . ." was all Ross could manage to say. He looked over at Rachel, and was so taken aback at her beauty as she beamed at him.

"That was . . .really amazing," she told him. He opened his arms, and she moved over and laid her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. He pulled a blanket over them, and they laid there in silence.

Just before drifting off to sleep, Rachel kissed his chest and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you more," he replied, just as her eyelids closed, and he kissed her forehead. He stayed up for an hour, watching her sleep and stroking her hair, before his exhaustion caught up with him. He gave her one last hug, and whispered to her while she slept. "You are so beautiful."

And with that, he fell asleep.

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Reviews are lovee! 


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Sorry for the little delay with this chapter, I've been kinda busy :-) And the subject of the quickness of the character's feelings was brought up again, and I have to say, its fiction. Its not gonna be entirely realistic. It was my first fic and thats just how I wrote it, and I hate to say it but if that bugs you, there's a lot that might bug you coming up. I dont wanna sound rude LOL, I appreciate any reviews I get, I'm just saying. Can you please humor me? puppy eyes LOL. Thanks and that's all...

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Late the next morning, Rachel woke up laying on her side. She felt Ross hugging her from behind, still asleep, his head resting in the crook between her neck and shoulder. Unable to move without waking him up, she adjusted herself slightly and waited. She sighed happily to herself, recalling the previous night's events.

It was only a few minutes before Ross began to wake. He rubbed his forehead against Rachel's neck, slowly lifted his head, and blinked from the light. Rachel, feeling him wake up, turned so she was laying on her back, looking up at him. She was beaming.

"Hey you," Ross said with a smile.

"Good morning," she said back.

"Certainly is." He leaned down and kissed Rachel passionatly. Eventually, he moved down, kissing her chin, neck, and then shoulders.

"Ross," she giggled, "we'll have time for that later, I'm hungry!"

He pulled his head up and laughed.

Rachel began getting up, but Ross made a noise of complaint and pulled her back down. "A few more minutes."

She smiled and nodded, resting her cheek on his chest.

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A little while later, Ross and Rachel came downstairs to the kitchen, not able to keep their hands off each other. Ross held Rachel from behind, his arms wrapped around her waist in a tight bind, his chin resting on her shoulder as he walked with her, his fingers entwined with hers. When they entered the kitchen, Ross began kissing her neck, failing to notice that they weren't alone.

Monica and Chandler sat at the kitchen counter next to each other, eating lunch and chatting. They had heard Rachel giggling down the hall, and were less than surprised at seeing their state when they entered the room.

Chandler held a smug grin on his face. "_Someone_ got laid last night!", he exclaimed.

Rachel and Ross finally realized that Chandler and Monica were there, and Ross straightened up, but kept his arms around Rachel. He shot Chandler a

look.

"Well, we know it wasn't you, then," he shot back. Chandler's face fell, angry that Ross was right.

"Oh Ross, shut up," Monica said, a little too firmly.

"Oh my God," said Rachel, realizing something. "You guys really haven't yet, have you?"

Ross finally let go of Rachel. "Ok, so you guys need to talk. Chandler?"

"Right behind you, buddy." He gave Monica a quick peck on the cheek, and walked to the kitchen door, waiting for Ross.

"I love you, sweetie," Ross was cooing to Rachel. They kissed, a little too long for Chandler's patience.

"Today!" Ross broke the kiss, and shot Chandler an annoyed look. He then gave Rachel an apologetic smile, kissed her forehead, and followed

Chandler out into the living room.

Rachel sighed happily, then turned her attention back to Monica, who was bustling around the kitchen, cleaning Chandler's mess.

"So?"

"So what?", asked Monica, trying to keep herself busy.

"So why haven't you two!", Rachel practically yelled. Monica put down what she was doing, and turned to face Rachel, knowing there was no way to get

out of this conversation.

"We just haven't, okay? We want it to be the perfect time, he doesn't want to pressure me."

"I just can't believe you haven't yet! I mean, you guys have been all 'I love you' the whole time, I was sure that you had."

"Well, you didn't do it with Ross until last night!"

"I didn't know that I loved him for sure until last night. Monica, it was just . . .it was amazing." She took a moment to think about last night. "Anyway," she

continued, "I assumed that you guys would have after Ross and I didn't come back down."

Monica made a face. "Ok, first off, I don't exactly want sex details about my brother. And second, that would have been so predictable! I want it to be . . .I don't know, spontanious! Not planned. My whole life is always planned- why should I have to plan when to do that?"

"Well, at least you're not calling it your flower anymore," Rachel replied. "Although, you still are a virgin, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm waiting for the right person. And I think Chandler is it. I just want the timing to be perfect."

Rachel nodded, understanding. "You can come back in," she called out to the guys.

Ross came back in, holding the mail. "Hey Monica," he said while reading the envelopes. "This one's for you, its from that culinal school you're going to in the fall. I guess its supplies or something."

Chandler, who was coming in behind him, stopped short at the door. Monica froze too.

"Oh my God . . .I forgot."

"Well, here it is." He tossed the envelope at her. Monica grabbed it, ripped it open, and began reading as she walked into the living room. Chandler followed.

"You got into culinary school?" Monica nodded. "That's great! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Chandler. . .", Monica began. Chandler sensed something was coming that he wouldn't want to hear.

"What's wrong?", he asked carefully.

"The school's in San Francisco."

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Chandler's heart skipped a beat. "San Francisco? As in San Francisco, California?"

"No, San Francisco, Idaho," said Monica sarcastically.

"You can't go to California!", Chandler burst. "What about us?"

"Chandler, I don't know!" Monica's eyes became full of tears. "I applied here before we were ... 'us'. Its the best school that accepted me, I have to go!"

"My school's here! I can't move to San Francisco, I have to stay here!"

Monica and Chandler stood, staring at each other, both breathing heavily. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife.

"When do you leave?", he asked, finally breaking the silence.

"In two weeks," she said sadly. "Mom wanted me to get used to the city before school started."

"Right." Chandler had no idea what to do. He was sure Monica was the one for him- _the _one. And now she was going away . . .he couldn't afford to go to

the other side of the country to visit her. He was scared. "I have to go think about this . . ."

He crossed over to the door, and left. Monica began crying as she stared at the door. At that second, Rachel walked in.

"Hey Mon, I'm just going home to-" She caught sight of Monica's appearence. "Oh my God, honey!" She ran over and gave her best friend a hug.

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I love reviews! hahaha 


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **I don't have anything to say right now, I just think it makes you look cool if you have an author's note. Like "read this, its something I said!" or "I'm special enough to have your attention!" ...wow, I'm lame.

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Chandler didn't speak to anyone for 13 days. He ended up going back to his dorm, and shutting himself in his room. He wouldn't face the reality of Monica leaving . . .he couldn't face it. Just the thought of her not being an hour's drive away, it deprived him of sleep. He didn't eat. He was too scared to face her, too scared to say goodbye.

Monica stayed in her house, packing but not wanting to go. Rachel and Ross tried to get her to hang out with them, but she couldn't take being around them without having Chandler to act that way with her. She wanted him to come back, she missed him. She couldn't leave without seeing him, but he wasn't even answering the phone.

"Monica?" Ross peeped his head into his sister's bedroom, it was the night before she would be leaving. "Rachel and I are going to the movies, do you wanna come?"

"No, I have to finish packing," she replied, trying to conceal the tears that were streaming down her face. The next morning, she would be leaving. And Chandler had never come back.

"Ok, well if you change your mind, you know where to find us."

Monica wiped her face. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to see Chandler, she didn't care if it would be for the last time. "Wait, Ross!", she called out to him.

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"Can I use your car? I know you want to go to the movies, but I need it."

"Where are you going?"

"To see Chandler."

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Chandler sat at his desk, staring at the wall. _She's leaving tomorrow . . .she's really going. _He had to get out of this room. He didn't know where to go, but he went to his door and threw it open . . .

. . .and saw Monica standing on the other side.

"Hi . . ."

"Monica!"

He was surprised. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Chandler . . .I don't want to go."

"You have to, its the best school. Its what you've always wanted."

"Chandler, I can't, I love you!"

They stood staring at each other. Suddenly, Chandler grabbed her waist, pulling her close to him, and kissed her. She kissed back.

Before they knew it, they were undressing each other. They kicked off their shoes, Chandler pulled off Monica's shirt, then yanked off his own. He pulled Monica over to the bed, and they both fell onto the mattress and continued undressing. Chandler kissed a trail from Monica's mouth, down to her belly button, and back up.

They needed each other, more than anything. They kept in mind that this could possibly be the only time they could do this. They poured all their passion into it, their want for each other becoming more apparent by the second. They didn't want it to end, they never wanted to let go of each other.

Late into the night, Monica fell asleep on top of Chandler, her face buried deep into his neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, as if it would somehow prevent her from leaving. He clung to her for dear life.

Unable to sleep, he stroked Monica's back, staring at her, savouring every moment. He loved her more than he had ever loved anything or anyone, he couldn't possibly imagine her not being here, beside him every morning. He knew that after tonight, he would never be able to fall asleep without her in his arms. He held her closer, dreading the morning that was to come.

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Chandler woke up after getting only an hour's worth of sleep. He realized Monica wasn't in bed. Fear filled him so much that he shot straight up, and shouted her name.

"I'm right here."

He looked over. Monica was sitting at the desk, wearing one of Chandler's big shirts. She had been watching him sleep, but seeing him awake, she smiled.

"So last night was pretty incredible."

Chandler just stared at her. "Yeah . . .", he finally smiled. "It was."

"Look, I've been thinking about this all morning . . .I'm not gonna go."

"What! Monica, don't let me be the reason to keep you from this!"

"No, Chandler, I've really thought about this. I even called my mom. This school in the city accepted me too, we called, and the classes I want to take still have spots open. Its still a great school, I'm gonna go there." Chandler stared at her in shock. "Its not only you, although that certainly plays a big part. Its just, my family's all here, my friends . . .I'm staying. And that's final."

He jumped out of bed, and rushed over to her. They hugged, and Chandler kissed her with all he had, even though she wasn't going anywhere.

"So," he began. "What should we tell your mom about you being here?"

"I hope Ross covered for me . . .I'm sure he did. You don't even know how many times I've covered for him and Rachel these past two weeks." She raised her eyebrows.

"Kids these days!", Chandler joked. He smiled at Monica before hugging her again.

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Reviews sure make me joyous! 


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** This chapter's a bit shorter than the others, but that's because I didn't want to go into the next part yet. So just bear with me, haha.

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The next week, everything got crazy. Monica still had to finish packing, she would be moving to an apartment closer to the city. Chandler would be moving in with her, which meant a lot of packing at the dorm (and a lot of convincing Mrs. Geller). Ross saw this as an opportunity to move things to the next level with Rachel.

"So you're really asking her to move in with you?", Chandler asked his soon to be ex-roommate, while throwing some clothes into a cardboard box.

"Chandler, fold them! I told you how," said Monica, taking out all the clothes and re-folding them.

"Yeah, I really think I am," Ross replied. "She should be here in a few minutes, and then I'm gonna ask her."

"I really hope she says yes, Ross," said Monica.

Less than a minute later, the door to the dorm flung open.

"Guys, guess what!" Rachel stood on the other side, shaking with happiness and incredibly hyper.

"Hey, sweetie." Ross crossed over to hug her, and leaned in for a kiss. But she was too excited and left his embrace before she could even notice he tried.

"I got accepted to a college!"

"Oh Rachel, that's great!", said Monica, sharing in the enthusiasm. "What school?"

"Its this big fashion school, its really great! They said I was on the waiting list, but a spot opened and I can start in the January semester!"

"Good for you, Rach," said Chandler. "Where is it?"

"Its in Milan!", she squealed. Ross froze. "Can you believe it? That is like one of the fashion capitals of the world!"

She was so overwhelmed by the news, she hadn't even thought of the bad sides to the situation. All she could see was the fact that she would be in Milan- the idea of Ross not being there hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Oh . . .", Ross started. "So are you going?"

"Am I going? Of course I'm going! I'd be crazy not to! This is like my dream!"

Out of her excitement, she ran over and practically jumped into Ross's arms, hugging him.

"Wow, Rach . . .that's great," Ross said, trying to fake enthusiasm. Inside, he was falling apart.

She leaned in and kissed him. "You know," she said seductivly, "I'm in such a good mood, _someone's _gonna have a good night." She tapped his nose.

He weakly laughed. "Would that be me?", he asked, in his normal geeky way that Rachel always found so adorable.

"Mmhmm." She leaned in and kissed him again.

Monica watched them, a huge smile on her face. But then one thought crept into her mind. _Oh my God, Milan! Ross can't go there!_ Her smile faded. _This isn't good . . ._

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Ross was up late that night. Monica and Chandler had gone back to the Gellar house for the night. Ross lay in bed, Rachel asleep on his chest. They had just had an exhausting night together.

Ross hated being awake alone at night. The worst thoughts crept into his head, and no one was there to stop them.

_Rachel's going to Milan . . .I can't afford to go to Milan! That's so far, and you rarely hear about long distance things working . . .and that's a long distance. She can't go, she just can't . . .but I can't be selfish! Ugh, but I can't let her go, I can't stay here without her . . ._

The ideas going through his mind gave him a headache.

_She starts in January, its August. I have four months . . .four months to change her mind. How can I change her mind? Shouldn't it be enough to her that _I'm _here? How can she even be considering going!_

'Of course she wants to go,' his mind seemed to answer him. 'Its the best school for what she wants!'

_But I'm here, _me!_ We're in love . . ._

'Buddy, listen to yourself. You're being so selfish! Can't you just be happy for her?'

_I am happy, I'm exstatic! I just wish it was a school here._

'Well, its not. And you have to support her. When you love someone-'

_I know, I know. You have to let them go . . ._

'Its her dream, you can't keep her from that.'

_You're right . . ._

Ross came to a painful decision, one that hurt so bad to admit that his eyes stung as he tried to hold back tears.

_I have to let her go._

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I love teasing everyone with cliffhangers, haha. Reviews make me feel special:-P haha 


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Hey guys, so just to get this out now, this fic is no where near done! So don't give up because of the change of events, the conflict, all that stuff. There is so much more to the story after this, so please don't give up on it haha. Also, you've probably noticed random song lyrics scattered around the fic... when I'm completely finished posting chapters, I'm gonna have a list of all the songs I used. In case anyone wonders or whatnot :) Cause songs play a big part in the upcoming chapters.

Without further adeiu...

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The next few months flew by as if they were merely days. Monica, being so organized, was moved into the apartment in the villiage quickly. It was a job that could have taken messy Chandler weeks, but with Monica's help, it only took a few days. Monica adapted to her new school right away, blending in great with the student body and getting top grades in her classes. Every weekend, her and Chandler would hang out with Ross and Rachel.

Rachel went crazy with preparing for school. Ross was always at her side, attempting to support her. His true feelings were kept hidden from her. He loved seeing her so happy, he couldn't bear to take that away. But it ate away at him inside. Every night, whether he was alone or Rachel was asleep next to him, he couldn't stop those thoughts from wandering back into his mind. _Should I ask her to stay?_ And he always got the same answer. 'Of course not.'

Christmastime came. Ross grew more and more fidgety around Rachel, as she would be leaving right after New Years. At a time where he should have savoured every moment with her, been around her as much as possible, he found himself doing the opposite. He came up with obscure excuses not to have her spend the night, he would bury himself in school work. He couldn't bring himself to be around her, because he knew he wouldn't be able to say goodbye. It took him so long to get to this point, this dream of finally being with Rachel. And here it was, being snatched away within months. It wasn't fair.

Rachel began to notice his peculiar behavior.

The group all gathered in Monica and Chandler's new apartment on the night of Christmas Eve. Ross sat on the window seat, staring outside, avoiding eye contact with Rachel. Meanwhile, Rachel sat in the kitchen, silently watching Monica cook dinner. Her eyes darted towards Ross, she knew something was wrong.

She walked towards him, he did not notice her. She, too, stared out the window.

"Wow, Monica- there's a naked guy in that building." Rachel made a face. "_That's_ more than I need to see."

Ross laughed to himself, finally looking at her. He loved Rachel's faces, he had almost forgot. It had been so long since he could bring himself to look her in the face.

Rachel looked down at Ross. "Honey, can I talk to you?"

He dreaded what would come. "Sure."

Rachel took his hand and led him into Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler being . . .well, the way they were, this room was never even used. Rachel shut the door behind him, then crossed her arms and turned to look at Ross.

"_What_ is wrong?", she finally asked him.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong." Ross stared at the floor.

"Ross, you haven't looked me in the eye in months! You're cancelling our dates left and right, you're turning down _sex_- what is going on??"

He didn't answer her.

"Its like ever since I got into college . . ." She covered her mouth with her hand as she realized the problem. "Its me going to Milan, isn't it?"

"No, Rachel, you know I support you."

"Oh, you do not! You think I'm going to break up with you, don't you?" He stayed silent. "Oh my God, you do. Ross-" she was almost yelling now "- haven't you ever heard of a long-distance relationship? And its not like we can't visit each other!"

Ross's anger, until now quietly bubbling up, hit a boiling point. "YES, it is! Rachel, I can't afford to go to Milan! Where do you think I get money from?? I don't have parents like yours!"

"WHAT?!", Rachel yelled appallingly. "I can't believe you'd actually accuse me of that! I was fully going to get a job in Milan- I was going to get a job so I could earn money to see you!" She jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "I'm sorry if you're incapable of that."

"Rachel, its another country! Its another _continent!!_ How could that ever work?? What, we see each other once or twice a year? That's not enough!"

"Well it has to be! Ross, this is my dream, I am not staying here just because _you _can't let me go! We have our whole lives ahead of us to be together, why don't we just make the best out of our lives while we have the time??" She deeply inhaled, and tried to push out her anger with her exhale. "I really need to go to this school, Ross. I can't believe you don't understand that!"

He stood and stared at her, both breathing heavy from the argument. Ross attempted to calm down.

"Well, I can't believe you don't understand that I love you," he said softly. "And I don't know what I'm gonna do if you're not here."

"Ross, I _can't_ always be here."

"Well, that doesn't work for me!"

"So, what, do you want to break up?"

He looked at the ground again, and shook his head.

"Then come with me to Milan."

He moved his eyes back to her. "You know I can't, Rach."

She took a deep breath. "Fine."

She turned around, and stomped out the door.

"Rachel! Rachel, come on!"

She ignored him. She went back into the living room, and grabbed her purse and coat.

"Rachel, are you leaving?", asked Monica, pulling a small turkey out of the oven. "Dinner's just finished."

"I'm sorry Monica, but there are certain people here who I do _not _want to associate myself with right now."

And with that, she left.

Monica looked to Chandler with a stunned expression. "Well, it's _not_ me," he joked to ease the tension.

Ross came out of the bedroom. He looked horrible, like someone had just hit him with a train. He couldn't believe he let himself get to that state, to say those things to Rachel. Of course he wanted her to be happy. But, as always, his selfish side had to get the better of him. And now he'd lost her.

_I lost Rachel . . ._

He went back to the window seat, and leaned against the window, praying for sleep to come and take him out of this hell.

_Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me_

_I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong_

_Your arms around me tight, everything, it felt so right_

_Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong_

_Now I can't breath, no, I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on . . ._

Rachel got home, slamming every door along the way.

"Dear?", her mother asked, worried at her daughter's state. Rachel didn't even hear her, she just stormed up to her bedroom, and slammed the door behind her.

The first thing she saw was the picture on her night stand. It was of her and Ross, taken a few months earlier. She was looking into the camera, smiling, but Ross with his arm around her shoulders, was looking only at her. Adoringly. Lovingly.

Right next to the photo were her plane tickets to Milan, the tickets that would take her to school the next week. Her new home.

Rachel slumped back on her door. She began to cry, and sunk to the floor as tears streamed down her face.

_What did I just do?_

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Reviews, those are fun! Haha 


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Just wanted to pop in at the beginning to say that this is one of my favorite chapters of any of my fics. Probably because I used my favorite song ever in it haha. Yeah just a reminder that I will have a song list at the very end, but if you are curious you can PM me or whatever and I'll answer it. So, without further adeui (sp? lol)...

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Rachel stood at the airport, staring out the window at the planes. In an hour, she would be on one of those planes. Going to her new home. Leaving everything she had behind. She was going to school, and that was final.

She hadn't spoken to Ross since the fight. She knew him, she knew that he must be falling apart. But she couldn't bring herself to face him. _He didn't want you to be happy, he wanted you all to himself_, she tried to convince the last bit of doubt she had left.

_But wouldn't I be happy with Ross?_

She regretted it. The fight, the break up, everything. She hated the fact that she said those things to Ross. All he ever did was love her- and she had to go and think about other things. The future, her career . . .her. She knew she needed this school, she needed it to get the job she'd always wanted. But she also knew that she needed Ross, and now, she had to go through everything without him.

But she couldn't tell him. She was embarrassed of herself, and she still loved him. Yet at the same time, she was angry towards him. However, the love far outweighed the anger. But why ask for his love again, when she would still be going across the ocean with it? It wouldn't be fair to him. Best let him move on, not give him a small bead of hope that would shatter too quick.

She thought back to Monica. Her best friend. She was leaving her behind, as well. She was moving to a new country, no best friend at her side, no support system. But Monica had Chandler. Rachel had nobody.

And it was all her fault. Was it selfish that she was doing this? _Of course not, its school, the only one I got into! I can do what I've always wanted to do . . ._

_. . . But at what price?_

She sighed to herself as she continued staring out the window, and a lone tear slowly fell down her cheek.

_And love is not the easy thing_

_The only baggage you can bring_

_Is all that you can't leave behind . . ._

Ross was in emotional hell. Rachel was leaving today, really, truly going off to Milan. Monica had told him how she wasn't coming back for summers, not even Christmas- her family would be vacationing out there and see her then. She had said goodbye to Monica, she had said goodbye to Chandler . . .

And she left Ross hanging. That hurt worse than anything she said in the fight- she hadn't even said goodbye. She hadn't attemped to make peace. Neither of them had. Ross gave her space- and now he was scared he would regret that decision for the rest of his life. He loved Rachel, he always loved her. But he realised, whether they had broken up or not, she still wouldn't be here. She was going to Milan, period. _Better we're apart, then to have her so far away when we're still together._

But he knew in his heart that either way, it hurt. He looked at Monica and Chandler- so quick to change their plans for each other, so wanting to please the other, so willing to give everything up for the sake of their relationship. Why couldn't he and Rachel be like that?

_She has no other choice. Its take a chance and go to Milan without you, or stay with you, and never know what she might have missed._

He knew it was best for her that he let her go. But what was best for him? Forget everything that had? That wasn't gonna be easy, if at all possible. She meant so much to him . . .but he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he made her stay, to forever wonder what could have been. Not that he was loving himself right now.

All of a sudden, he jumped to his feet. He didn't care if this would change anything, he didn't care if she left. He had to tell her he still loved her. He would not let her get on that plane without her knowing it.

_And if the darkness is to keep us apart_

_And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off_

_And if your glass heart should crack_

_And for a second, you turn back _

_Oh no, be strong . . ._

Rachel said goodbye to her family, hugging her teary-eyed parents and her sisters. They had obligations, and wouldn't be able to see her onto the flight. She had 20 minutes to sit alone. Sit, wait, and think- entering more dangerous territory with every second.

No matter which path she would have chosen, she'd always wonder. What if the fight hadn't happened? What if she stayed . . .would they be together forever? Not everyone breaks up.

But if she wasn't going . . .what would her life be? Sure, she would be with Ross. But she wouldn't have gotten this great education, to do everything and anything she ever hoped for . . .

"Flight 212 to Milan, to begin boarding in 15 minutes," said the loudspeaker, making Rachel jump. She was really doing this . . .

_Walk on, walk on_

_What you've got, they can't steal it_

_No, they can't even feel it_

_Walk on, walk on . . ._

_Stay safe tonight_

Ross stared at the clock in his car. He only had 20 minutes to catch Rachel, and the traffic was working horribly against him. He could see the planes taking off. He was right by the airport, but the cars weren't moving.

"DAMMIT, move!", he yelled in frustration. He honked his horn. All that got him was a dirty look from the guy next to him, and the finger from the guy in front of him. He pounded the dashboard with his fist.

10 minutes later, the cars began to inch along. He had limited time- once the flow returned to normal, he sped to the front of the airport.

_You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been_

_A place that has to be believed to be seen_

_You could have flown away_

_A singing bird in an open cage_

_Who will only fly, only fly for freedom . . ._

"Now boarding for flight 212, please have your boarding pass and passport ready."

Rachel took a deep breath. There was a long line of people, and she got in line behind them, dragging her suitcase . . .

A memory came back, of that weekend at Ross's dorm. He'd tried to show off for her, and fallen under that suitcase. She laughed to herself, remembering.

But it was only followed by pain. So much lost time, why hadn't she ever payed attention to Ross before? Whether or not this would still be the end, they could have had so much more time together . . .was she missing out on that?

_Walk on, walk on_

_What you've got, they can't deny it_

_Can't sell it, can't buy it_

_Walk on, walk on_

_Stay safe tonight_

Ross was practically running, but being delayed at every point possible. He had no ticket, no luggage to put through security . . .they weren't making things easier for him.

_And I know it aches_

_And your heart, it breaks_

_And you can only take so much_

_Walk on, walk on_

Thoughts were furiously running through both their heads, the identical thought, the same idea . . .

_Home . . .hard to know what it is if you've never had one_

_Home . . .I can't say where it is, but I know I'm going home_

_That's where the hurt is_

_'Am I doing the right thing?'_

_And I know it aches_

_How your heart, it breaks_

_You can only take so much_

_Walk on_

Rachel got to the front of the line. She inhaled deeply, her hand shaking as she handed the attendant her boarding pass and passport. He tore off the proper part of the ticket, and handed both back to her with a smile.

"Enjoy your flight!"

_Leave it behind_

_You've got to leave it behind_

She entered the doorway, and quickly walked down the hall. She didn't look back. She lost a battle with her watering eyes as a second tear slide down her cheek.

_All that you fashion, all that you make_

_All that you build, all that you break_

_All that you measure, all that you steal_

_All this you can leave behind_

_All that you reason, all that you speak_

_All that you dress up, all that you scheme . . ._

Ross ran into the section Rachel's plane was flying out of. It was vacant, except for an attendant standing by the door. It was too late, he had missed her.

He stared out the window as he saw the plane begin to move. Down the runway, further and further away, until . . .it took off. He watched it until it became a little speck far off, dissapearing over the horizon. She was gone.

_Walk on . . ._

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I really hope you guys liked this chapter. I know its sad but it was my first one with a song, and I still really love it. There's a lot more chapters like this to come, intertwined with lyrics. Not like every one, lol, but a few. Anyway, as usual, reviews make me happyyy :-P 


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** This chapter is a LOT to take in, it covers a big time span. The thing is, I realized tha tI havent even gotten halfway through the story yet, and this is already chapter 14. So the next few might feel like a hell of a lot of info, and that's because I'm trying to fit it all into a reasonable amount of chapters. Sorry if its too much :-/

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_

Who's to say where the wind will take you  
_Who's to say what it is will break you  
__I don't know which way the wind will blow  
__Who's to know when the time has come around  
__Don't wanna see you cry  
__I know that this is not goodbye_

Everything changed.

Monica and Chandler were living the life Ross once had, the blissful benefits of being in a loving relationship. Ross watched them with envy. He was happy for his sister and best friend, but he couldn't help but be upset.

He couldn't even contact Rachel. Monica had a phone number and an address, but was asked to keep it private. Monica assumed she was still mad at Ross, and that hurt him so bad. They couldn't even be friends . . .

In reality, Rachel couldn't face hearing his voice, or getting a letter from him. Not now, not when they weren't together. And on different continents. It was too hard. No, she had to try to forget.

A few months passed.

Rachel excelled at her school, but her heart wasn't in it. She still wore the necklace that Ross gave her on her graduation day. She slept in it, showered in it; there was even a tan line around it. A day didn't go by where she didn't wonder what he was doing, if he had met someone new, if he even thought of her anymore . . .

She had even fallen out of touch with her best friend. Sure, she adored Monica and missed her every day. They both tried so hard to stay in touch- but Monica was busy with school, family, Chandler . . .there was always something in the way. She visited Rachel the first summer, but it proved too painful for Rachel to take. Monica only reminded her of Ross, and thinking of Ross only gave her heartache.

Ross tried desperatly to move on. With the help of Chandler's new friend Joey, he went on dates. But none of the women stuck. He always found something wrong with each one. He wouldn't admit it to himself, but he had a far way to go to get over Rachel.

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Then came the day Ross dreaded to think about: exactly one year since Rachel left. That had been the first day of 1988 . . .it was already 1989. He shuddered at the thought that it really had been an entire year since they were together.

He sullenly laid on the couch in Monica and Chandler's living room. Monica was bustling around, cleaning the house as always. Chandler was, curiously, out. No one knew quite where he was, but they didn't worry.

After cleaning her room, Monica came out holding an envelope.

"Hey Ross." He opened his eyes and sat up. "This... this is from Rachel. She gave it to me before she left, she asked to give it to you after a year had gone by. I'm not sure what it is, though."

He took the envelope, not expecting much. "Thanks."

Monica smiled at him, then went back to her cleaning.

Ross stared at the envelope for a while. He couldn't decide if he wanted to open it- what if it only caused him hurt?

At that exact time, Chandler got home with Joey in tow.

"PIZZA TIME!!"

Ross tucked the envelope into his coat pocket. He would wait until he was ready.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Another year somehow quietly slipped by. And the next month, Valentine's Day was upon them. Monica and Chandler had planned on a quiet evening together, just going out for a nice dinner, then spending the night at home.

Still, Monica tried her best to look nice. She curled her shoulder-length black hair, putting it into a half up-do. She got into a strapless calf-length red dress, and looked at herself in the mirror. Make-up needed to be applied, and then all would be perfect.

Chandler got home from work around 6. Hearing him come in the door, she walked out of the bathroom.

"Why hello, gorgeous."

She smiled at him before walking over and giving him a soft kiss. They'd been together two and a half years now, and he never failed to give her stomach butterflies everytime they kissed.

"You're lookin' pretty good yourself."

"Oh, I know," he said jokingly. He smiled down at her, and touched her cheek. "Before we go, though, I have something to ask."

"Okay, well can you do it from out here? I have to go finish putting on my make-up."

She rushed into the bathroom, trying to quickly put on some mascara.

"No, sweetie, I kinda have to tell you to your face."

She sighed, and put down the mascara. "Well, I only have one eye done, but fine." She walked out of the bathroom, arms folded. "What?"

She saw him fiddling with something in his pocket. He took a deep breath and walked towards her. Taking one of her hands into his, he got down on one knee.

"Oh. My. God."

"Monica Gellar," he said confidently, never being more sure of anything he'd ever done. "I love you more than I ever thought possible. I know we're young, and I know it hasn't even been three years, but I know that I want to live the rest my life with you."

Tears began falling from Monica's eyes, gracefully sliding over the sharp curves of her cheekbones.

He pulled out a small box, and opened it to reveal a glittering diamond ring.

"Will you marry me?"

Somehow, he was able to hear her answer underneath the crying. "Yes!"

He grinned widely, and jumped to his feet. He slide the ring onto her finger, and wrapped her into a tight hug.

"I l-love you so m-m-much," she cried into his shoulder.

"I love you too."

He pulled back, and lifted her chin with his finger. He brought his lips to hers, and they shared a passionate kiss.

"You still wanna go to dinner?"

"You know," Monica said with a sly smile. "There are times where its okay to have dessert first . . ."

And with that, she took him by the hand, leading him into the bedroom.

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Rachel lay on a couch in the living room of her small apartment. She was alone on Valentine's Day, just like last year. And the year before. The few friends she'd made since coming to Milan were all out on dates. Another lonely night.

She unconciously played with the small gold heart hanging around her neck, twisting it in her fingers as she stared at the TV screen. She wasn't even paying attention to what was going on. Her mind was wandering, the same thoughts going through her head as last year. She may as well make them holiday tradition now.

She never got a Valentine's Day with Ross. Not that they needed one; he had been so loving that everyday may as well have been Valentine's Day. But still, they never got to have one together as a couple. Another regret, another pang of heartache. Why couldn't she get over him? There were plenty of willing men here, she had gotten quite a few offers for the night. But she turned them all down. She was just as stubborn with admitting it as Ross, but the little voice in the back of her head was repetedly saying the same thing: _You still love him._

She turned off the TV, and walked over to the large window in her tiny kitchen. She looked out at the stars, wondering where Ross was right now. Was he out on a date? Just the idea of it hurt. But she pushed the thought out of her mind. Sighing, she retreated to her bedroom.

There was a small photo album in the nightstand next to the bed. This hadn't been looked at since the last pictures were added, it only made Rachel more homesick. But tonight, she got it out, finally ready to look at it, and sat on her bed. There were pictures from all through high school- with her sisters, her friends, her various boyfriends. Her and Monica goofing off, her in a cheerleading competition. She got to the last few pages, full of pictures from the graduation party. There was a picture she'd never seen, it must have been taken by Monica. She smiled at it.

In the picture, she was asleep in the bench in her backyard, leaning on a fast asleep Ross.

She turned to the last page, eager to see more. There were pictures of Monica and Chandler, and Rachel realised just how much she truly missed them. There were pictures of her and Ross, and she looked so happy . . .she couldn't remember the last time she looked like that.

She closed the book, putting it back in the nightstand while wiping a tear off her cheek.

Looking at the clock, she noticed it was near midnight. She decided it was time to go to bed. She got ready for bed, wiping away the tears that continued to fall. This was her decision to come out here, but she had yet to figure out why.

_And its you when I look in the mirror_

_And its you when I don't pick up the phone_

_Sometimes you can't make it _

_On your own_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Guys, why are we doing this?"

"Because you need to get a life and get out!", Phoebe exclaimed.

"And see some naked women, for once!", Joey added.

With Monica and Chandler spending the night with each other (the others hadn't heard the news yet), the three friends were doomed to spend Valentine's Day with each other. Phoebe had just broken up with her boyfriend the month before, and Joey felt too much sympathy towards his buddy to get a date. So, he decided to take Ross to a strip joint instead.

"Really, I don't need this."

"Ross, it is a known fact that men need to see women naked at least once a year! Or they die!" Joey looked at Phoebe, his look questioning whether he was right or not.

"Um, okay, not really," she replied. "But Ross, you really do need to get out more. This Rachel girl was from, like, three years ago, _and_ she's on another continent! See, in one of my other lives, I tried to have a relationship with this guy in Istanbul. Yeah, complete failure!"

Ross shot Phoebe a look. "But the _best_ sex ever," she added, and giggled to herself. "Oh yeah, it was good."

"_Anyway_," Ross began. "I don't want to be here! Who spends their Valentine's Day at the strip club?"

"Just about every person in the city who's as big of a loser as you," Joey replied, leading Ross into the club.

"Oh, now she's hot," said Phoebe, pointing at one of the dancers.

"Really? I would say that one." Joey pointed at another.

"She's cute, but is she really, like, _smokin' _?"

"Totally!" The stripper looked at Joey, who gave her a manly smile. "How you doin'?"

Ross rolled his eyes at his friends. He knew they were only trying to help, but he really needed to get out of here. And now they were into playing a game of "Find the Hottest Stripper", so he knew he could slip out unnoticed.

He walked through the streets of the Villiage. He had moved out of his dorm last year, and into an apartment in the building across from Chandler and Monica's. It was still a few blocks away from the strip club, though.

But tonight, he didn't feel like getting a taxi. He felt like walking. It was a cold, wet night. His feet splashed in the puddles on the sidewalk as he walked past couple after couple, all seeming to be incredibly in love. Ross stared at them, a jealous glow in his eyes. That could have been him and Rachel . . .

He had actually considered flying to Milan last year. But Monica had talked him out of it. _'It was her choice to leave, I don't want you to get hurt,' _she'd said. _'Make it easier on both of you, and please don't go.'_

He'd obeyed, and stayed in New York. But he still really missed Rachel. Even before they had been a couple, she'd at least been around. He'd always gotten to see her. Now all he was left with were pictures. Pictures and memories.

_'Do you . . .have feelings for me?'_

_'Why, gee, no. I just kissed you for the hell of it.'_

He smiled to himself, thinking of when they first got together. It wasn't even three years into the past, and it seemed a lifetime ago. Was it really back in 1987? It wasn't even the same decade anymore.

_I try to go on like I never knew you_

_I'm awake, but my world is half asleep_

_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_

_But without you, all I'm going to be is_

_Imcomplete_

Pretty soon, Ross was only a block away from home. His hand went to his coat pocket, and he played with a folded-up envelope that always sat there.

The envelope from Rachel.

Monica had given it to him over a year ago, but he'd never gotten himself to open it.

He got to his apartment, and hung his coat on a hook. Usually, he would leave the envelope inside the pocket. But today, he took it out.

He sat on the couch, and stared at it. _Should I open it?_ After a few minutes of debating, he decided he should. How bad could it be, anyway? It was probably just a letting saying she was still mad at him. He knew it had to be something she wrote before leaving, something that would have still applied to him even a year after she wrote it.

He carefully opened the envelope, and there was a single piece of paper inside. On it were four simple words:

_I still love you._

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Reviews are amazinggg 


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Ok, I honestly don't say this enough. You guys that review- THANK YOU so much. You don't even know how much you make my day :-). And, sorry for this, but this chapter's another short one haha. The next one won't be this short. But thanks again to all of you ;-)

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"So one of my bridesmaids is gonna be Phoebe."

"Okay, but you have a few to go. I have Ross, Joey, and my cousin as my groomsmen. We need two more."

"Alright . . ." Monica began to brainstorm. Her and Chandler were planning the wedding, which would be taking place in exactly six months. Monica couldn't believe it- it was December, they would be married by August. August 15, 1991. 8-15-91. The date went through Monica's mind, the countdown already hard at work.

"I guess my cousin can be one. But I need a maid of honor, someone who I really care about . . ." An old friend popped into Monica's mind. "Rachel! Rachel Green!"

"Honey, we haven't talked to her in, like, four years. Not exactly maid of honor material." He made a face.

"But Chandler, she was like my only best friend . . .we promised when we were 16 that we would be each other's maid of honor. I'm bound to it, come on!!"

"You forget one thing- my best man is your brother. Also known as the ex-boyfriend of said possible maid of honor."

"But I really want her to be! Come on, its been a long time. I'm sure they're both over it." Chandler shot her a look. "Ok, well I'm sure _Rachel's_ over it. I know her, she doesn't dwell on these things much. Please?"

She shot Chandler some puppy eyes. He looked away, trying to avoid them. "You're not getting me with those." She grabbed his face and gave him a deep, passionate kiss.

"Well, you're not getting anymore of that unless you let me call her."

"Okay . . .well . . .FINE. If you insist!" He smiled and leaned back in.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rachel just got home from classes. She was tired, she hadn't had a good night's sleep. _Just a few more months_, she told herself. _Then you can be outta here._

Just then, the phone rang. She went to answer it.

"Hello?"

" . . .Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"Its Monica. Monica Gellar."

"Oh my God, honey!" The sound of Monica's voice was music to Rachel's ears. It had been far too long. "How are you??"

"I'm doing good . . .pretty good, actually. I'm getting married!"

"Oh, wow! To Chandler?"

"Uh-huh! He proposed back on Valentine's Day."

"Oh, thats romantic."

"I know!!" Just hearing that signature way Monica said 'I know' let Rachel know that she needed to go home. It was time to face her friends again. At least when school was over.

"So how are you doing?", Monica asked her.

"I've been better, but I've been worse. Almost done with school, how about you?"

"Just a few more months, and I'm a professional chef!"

The two chatted for what seemed like hours. They talked about school, about memories, what they were up to now . . .everything. And then, when the subject of the wedding resurfaced, Monica asked her.

"Sweetie, I need a maid of honor. And remember how we promised each other when we were 16? Well, I'm holding you to that."

Rachel smiled, a tear coming to her eye. "Of course, Mon! I'd love to! I'll fly out as soon as I can . . .well, my parents and Jill are visiting all through June . . .then Amy's coming in July for a few weeks . . .I'll come in early August, is that okay?"

"Its a bit last minute, but if that's the earliest you can get here, that's fine. I'm just happy you're gonna be there, Rach."

"Me too, Mon . . ." she brushed away a stray tear. "So who's the best man?"

"Oh . . .um, well . . .its Ross."

Rachel's heart skipped a beat at his name. "Oh. Oh, that's nice."

"That's okay, right? I mean, you don't even have to talk to him, just walk down the aisle and that's it."

"Yeah, it'll be fine . . ."

Rachel knew it wouldn't be fine. She had no idea how to face it. But she couldn't let Monica down.

"Oh, honey, I have to go. But it was really great talking to you!"

"You too, Monica. Give me a call before I fly out, okay?"

"Definitely. Bye."

"Goodnight."

Rachel sat on her couch, once again playing with her little gold heart. _Ross is the best man . . ._ It couldn't be the end of the world. She just had to walk down the aisle with him . . .they didn't have to talk, they didn't have to look at each other. _He's probably moved on anyway. _

She picked up the phone and booked a plane ticket in advance for New York.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I have to walk _Rachel _down the aisle?!"

Chandler covered his ears at his friend's loud reaction. "I know, I know, blame your sister!"

Ross paced back and forth in his apartment. He knew that he would probably run into Rachel again, but this soon? It had only been a few years, and he couldn't speak for her, but he knew he hadn't moved on yet.

"Can't you just demote me to, like, regular groomsman? Make Joey your best man."

"Ross, I've known you longer. I want you to be my best man." He sighed, worried at his buddy's appearence. "I was hoping that after, what is it, almost 4 years now, that you'd be over this. You guys dated for, like, six months. It shouldn't be taking this long."

"You don't get it. She was the one, Chandler, she was _it._" He sighed. "I'm going to take a nap. I need to think about this . . ."

Chandler nodded and retreated to the door. Before exiting, he turned to his friend. "You still my best man?"

"Yes. Of course."

Chandler smiled. He knew this was hard for Ross, but he was happy to hear that Ross would still go through with it. He just hoped he wouldn't change his mind.

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Hehehe :-P Reviews make my dayyy 


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Just to tell everyone, I was in a super efficient mood the other day, and I finished breaking up this story. Its gonna be 25 chapters in all, so there's still a way to go :-) Thanks to everyone who's followed so far

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Months of preparation, weeks of dread, days of anticipation, hours of worry. A wedding was on its way.

"I still can't believe you picked that Rachel over me as your maid of honor."

Monica was along with Phoebe, doing a last-minute sizing on her bridesmaid dress. Rachel was supposed to be flying into town that day, Amy had stayed later than she was originally supposed to. It was already the night of the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding was tomorrow.

"Honey, I know you're upset, but Rachel and I always promised each other this."

"I'm at least in America!", Phoebe argued. But she knew to drop it after that, or Monica would freak out too much. And they couldn't have that.

The bell on the door at the dress store rang, and both Phoebe and Monica turned to see who it was.

In walked a familiar face to Monica. Rachel strided into the store, somehow looking not a day older than before, yet at the same time, worlds different. Mature, yet the same bubbly Rachel. The cheerleader-turned-fashion-major.

"Oh my God, Rachel!"

Monica ran to the front of the store, and met Rachel in a huge hug.

"Hi honey! Oh wow, I can't believe you get married tomorrow!"

"You look so great, Rach. Really, amazing!"

"You too, Mon."

The two grinned at each other for what seemed like forever, apologizing for all the years they lost touch in one simple look. Phoebe became impatient.

"Alright, Monica, just forget about your other bridemaid."

Monica shot Phoebe a look, then led Rachel by the hand to the back of the store, where they were doing the fittings. "Rachel, this is my friend Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe, this is Rachel Green, my best friend from high school."

Rachel's heart sunk. 'Best friend from high school'? Did that mean this Phoebe was Monica's new best friend? Nonetheless, she smiled and shook Phoebe's hand warmly.

"Nice to meet you."

The three girls chatted as Phoebe's dress became finished and Rachel began the fitting for hers. It was hard, but Rachel put off asking about Ross as long as she could, even though it was the only thing on her mind. All of a sudden, the conversation took a turn, with Rachel and Monica reminising about their high school days.

"Remember the graduation party?", Monica asked. "Next to Chandler proposing, that was one of the best nights of my life. How about it, Rach?"

"Oh, yeah . . ." She wasn't up for remembering the night her and Ross officially got together, but she saw no way out of it. "It was a nice night."

Monica caught wind of Rachel's attitude, and decided to drop it.

However, Rachel casually continued. "So, how is Ross now?"

"He's doing okay, I guess."

"Oh, he's a wreck," Phoebe added. "But hey, that's Ross."

"He is not a wreck, Phoebs. He's fine."

"Is he . . .", Rachel attempted to sound okay with it, "dating anyone?"

"No, he hasn't really had much of a girlfriend since . . .well, since you, actually."

Rachel nodded, but turned and smiled to herself. She wondered if Monica had given him the envelope, but didn't ask for fear of suspicion.

The girls finished with the bridesmaid dresses, Monica's cousin's having already been finished. They went out to lunch, the subject of Ross and Rachel not being brought up again. They then retreated back to Monica and Chandler's apartment.

Rachel and Monica sat at the kitchen table, pouring over old yearbooks. Meanwhile, Phoebe sat in the living room with her guitar, writing songs.

Chandler came in around 5 in the afternoon, looking spiffy and ready for the rehearsal dinner. "You ready, sweetie?"

Monica smiled, got up, and gave him a quick kiss. "I just gotta put my dress on, and I will be. Here, you can catch up with Rachel while I do that."

She left to her bedroom. Chandler smiled at Rachel, who returned it.

"Hey you. I haven't seen you in ages, its like you moved to another country or something," he joked.

"Same old Chandler," she said with a chuckle, and the two hugged.

They caught up with each other, Chandler being careful to avoid speaking about Ross. But it was a subject that was hard to steer clear of, and his name did eventually come up.

"Ross isn't dating anyone either," he let slip, in a conversation about Rachel's lack of relationships since she left.

"Yeah, Monica said that . . ." All of a sudden, it became a little uncomfortable in the room.

"So do you guys wanna hear my new song?", Phoebe asked them, in an attempt to break the tension.

"Sure!", said an unknowing Rachel.

"You asked for it," Chandler told her quietly. Rachel gave him a confused look, and turned her attention to Phoebe.

Phoebe began playing her guitar, only hitting about three chords, and not very well. "Your love is like a pidgeon crapping on my heart...", she sang. Rachel tried hard to hold a laugh in, as she could tell Phoebe was serious about the song.

When Phoebe finished, Chandler got into a conversation with her about a date she went on the previous night, them both referring to the guy as "cappucino-and-one-cream-please". Rachel sighed to herself, looking around the apartment. The last time she'd been there was when she broke up with Ross. Painful memories filled the place.

And yet, she couldn't help but wish she had stayed. After meeting Phoebe, and hearing about Joey, they seemed to have a nice little group going. She only wished she could have been part of it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The wedding rehearsal went smoothly. The only kinks were Joey tripping just about every time he walked on the aisle ("I told you, I think my one leg grew longer than the other one! There's no other reason!!"), Phoebe insisting on singing during the ceremony (Monica just barely got out of that one), and Ross being unable to attend. His internship at the museum downtown was demanding, and he'd had to work late. But he would meet up with everyone at dinner.

Rachel felt awkward as she walked back down the aisle by herself; the party was practicing the end of the wedding. Everyone clapped, and filed out, eager to get to the Gellar household for the dinner.

Upon getting to the house she basically grew up in, Rachel found Monica's parents and caught up with them. When they had to go attend to other guests, Rachel became worried that she'd have no one to talk to. It seemed Monica knew all these new people, people she'd never met before. But she became quite happy when she was invited to sit with Joey and Phoebe.

However, after hanging out with them a while, it was clear how much Rachel had missed out. The two played games, like "Guess The Guest's Occupation", and "Find The Cup", where one would hide a cup amidst the party, and the other would find it. It was like their own little world, a world Rachel felt uncomfortable in. These friendships were already so well established.

"Come on, Rachel, go find the cup!" Joey was trying to include Rachel in his game. "Phoebe's never gonna find it, I bet you could get it quicker!"

"Where'd you stash the cup, Tribbiani?!", they heard Phoebe shout from across the room.

Bored from sitting by herself while they looked for cups, Rachel decided to join in. "Fine, I'll try!" she exclaimed, despite the fact that she had zero enthusiasm for the game. More of a curiosity at something else . . .

She absentmindedly searched the room, looking in every nook and cranny for the cup. She hadn't found it anywhere, and found herself looking around at the guests, instead. _I wonder if Ross is here . . ._She came upon Monica, and the two chatted a little while. But then some new guests arrived, and Monica had to turn the hostess switch back on.

Rachel scanned the party, looking for Joey or Phoebe or Chandler to talk to. Nowhere to be found, although she thought she heard a jubilent Phoebe-shout come from the back of the room. She must have found the cup. However, with nothing better to do, she continued making rounds around the party room. Suddenly, she heard the back door to the house open, and turned to see who it could be.

Her heart seemed to stop beating as she locked gazes with a familiar pair of chocolate brown eyes.

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I 3 Reviews!! 


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** I don't really have anything to say. Haha. It just looks like I have some big news or something important to tell everyone... oh, well, I am gonna be starting a new fic soon. I have the first few chapters of it written but I can't decide whether or not I want to start it while I still have this going. So if you could tell me if you'd rather me wait or start now in any reviews, that would be great :-) Thankss

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Ross saw them, before anything. Those ocean blue eyes that he used to lose himself in for hours.

Rachel's eyes. Rachel was here . . .and she looked amazing. Even more beautiful as the last time he'd seen her. Her hair was a golden brown, and hung straight just past her shoulders. Her skin was tanned to perfection. Everything about her was just . . .incredible.

She felt a similar attraction as she checked him out. Also tanned skin, stretching sround defined muscles. His hair spiked with just the right amount of gel. Well, okay, maybe a little overboard on the gel. But still, everything about him seemed amazing.

But at the same time, awkward. He didn't want to face her; she wasn't sure she could face him.

She turned her head and continued looking for the cup, desperate to avoid those eyes. Desperate to not awknowledge how great he looked now. Desperate to forget.

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The clank of a fork hitting a glass filled the room. "I'd like to say some words, if I may."

The room fell silent, and looked at Ross as he began a short speech. "I'm Ross Geller, the best man. Sitting here next to me is my best friend, Chandler Bing, about to marry my little sister, Monica. Imagine my surprise at that one!"

He did his geeky laugh at his own joke, and the guests laughed politely. He continued through his speech.

Rachel watched him, noticing how his personality hadn't changed a bit. Same old geeky Ross Geller. The same Ross Geller she fell in love with when she was 18. She tried to push the thought away, and began to pay very close attention to the salad in front of her, instead of the man talking a few seats down.

Before she knew it, Ross's speech ended. He gave her one last glance before sitting down, somewhat dissapointed at the fact that she was no longer listening, or even pretending to pay attention. Then Rachel heard Phoebe yell, "Now for the maid of honor!"

Everyone cheered, as Rachel shook her head. "No, no, I'm not prepared!" Monica and Chandler agreed with the guests, egging Rachel on. "Really, I don't have anything . . ."

Phoebe pulled her up into a standing position, whispered, "You wanted to be maid of honor, Milan!", and quickly sat down, leaving Rachel the only one standing. All eyes were on her.

"Well, okay . . .so, um, Monica and I were best friends in high school. She, uh, met Chandler through her brother, Ross . . ." Rachel could feel his eyes on her, watching her every move. "And, well, she's a Geller, so her attraction to him was no secret. . ." Everyone laughed, including Ross- making it easier for Rachel to muster up a few more jokes and make an acceptable impromptu speech.

After other speeches by various parents, relatives, and an amusing musical one by Phoebe and Joey, the dinner continued. Chandler proved to be a great co-host, worthy of marrying the queen of hosting.

The couple caught a moment of alone time inbetween everything going on.

"I love you," Monica told her groom-to-be with a smile.

"Well, I'm not sure, but I think I love you too," he joked. She giggled and gave him a kiss, which had to be cut short when they were found by some guests. They couldn't wait until the wedding hype died down, and they could have a moment to themselves.

"You guys," they heard Rachel call out from behind. "I think I'm gonna go now, I haven't even checked into the hotel yet."

"Rachel, why don't you just stay here?", Monica suggested. "I'm sure Mom and Dad will let you."

Rachel took a look around the house, considering the offer. But she decided against it. "I don't think I should, Mon. I'm . . .I'll just go to the hotel. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Yeah, okay honey." They hugged goodbye, and Rachel also hugged Chandler. She then left for the hotel.

"Why wouldn't she stay here?", asked Chandler.

"Because it reminds her of Ross," Monica guessed.

"Well she does have to walk with him tomorrow."

"Who?" Ross came up, tired and wanted to get away from the cup game Phoebe was forcing upon him.

"Uh . . .Phoebe and Joey. We were . . .lamenting the fact that he can't walk." Chandler was a horrible liar, but Ross was too beat to notice.

"Oh, okay. Well guys, I think I'm gonna call a cab and head home." He paused for a moment. "Do you . . .do you know where Rachel is?"

"You just missed her, sweetie. Sorry."

"Yeah, okay. But I _am_ gonna go home. I'm beat"

He hugged the couple and said goodbye to his parents, Phoebe, and Joey before leaving.

The entire cab ride home, all he could think about was Rachel. How stunning she looked, how cute her speech was, how her smile still made him melt . . .

He really, really needed to get over this. She had to have moved on, it had been four years. Why was he so hung up over a 6 month relationship?

_Because you've loved her for eight years, you still love her, and you probably aren't stopping any time soon. _

He got home, and sat on the couch in his empty apartment. He'd known it all along, but had never fully admitted it to himself.

He still loved Rachel. He'd always love Rachel, there was no getting around it.

Once again, his mind changed.

She had to know, he had to tell her. He missed his chance at the airport, but this time, there would me none of that. He had an entire wedding and reception to talk to her, granting she would even listen. What if she was still mad?

_Well, I'll tell her anyway. I'll make her listen_.

He came to a firm decision, which he agreed with much more than the last.

_I have to get her back._

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The girls got up early, and all gathered at the Geller's house at nine in the morning. Phoebe arrived in her bridesmaids dress, a silky, pale lilac number, and Monica's cousin wore the same. Rachel arrived a little late, her maid of honor dress matching the other girls, only it was strapless. Her hair was in an updo, with a few lose curls hanging down on her bare neck.

"You look great!", Phoebe exclaimed.

"Thanks, you too! I just can't wait to see Monica, I can't believe I missed her getting ready!"

"Oh, she looks like a fairy tale!"

The girls chatted excitedly, all with butterflies in their stomachs. Of course, something- or someone- else added to Rachel's. But she wouldn't let herself think about that- today was Monica's day.

All of a sudden, the blushing bride walked out of her bedroom. She was in a strapless white gown, the bodice was tight silk, and it flowed into a full tulle skirt. Her hair was curled into an updo, a veil gracefully hung down her back. She smiled at her bridesmaids.

"Oh honey!" Monica looked so beautiful, it brought tears to Rachel's eyes. "You look amazing, Chandler is gonna fall in love all over again."

Everyone hugged, and the photographer arrived to take pictures. All too soon for Rachel, Ross arrived.

He wore a spiffy tuxedo, his hair gelled perfectly into place. Rachel couldn't help but noticing how great he looked, but that was nothing compared to what he felt when he saw her. She looked so radiant, he found himself having to catch his breath.

Suddenly, their gazes clicked. She smiled at him, a bit embarrassed from all the staring they'd been doing. He returned the smile, and began to walk towards her . . .but she turned her attention back to Monica, and soon left the room all together. He sighed to himself, wondering how he was gonna talk to her at all during the wedding. But he gave his sister the attention first, taking family pictures. Soon, he had to leave to meet Chandler at the ceremony.

_Til now, I always got by on my own_

_I never really cared until I met you_

_And now it chills me to the bone_

_How do I get you alone?_

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Reviews put a smile on my face! 


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **Sorry for that mini-hiatus there, lol. Im usually faster with updates since this fic's been finished for a while, but my computer has been in virus hell this week. But we're all good as of now, so the updates will be comin' again. Also, about my second fic- it would be no problem to _me_, at all. "Secret Feelings" here was written a while ago, I'm just updating already finished chapters. And the other fic I would be writing, the first five chapters of it are already done. Its really no inconvenience to me, I was just wondering if you guys would rather finish reading this story before I post a new one :-)

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"You okay, buddy?"

Ross found Chandler with one of his cousins and Joey, waiting at the altar at the ceremony. Many of the guests were already there, but the wedding wouldn't be starting for another half hour. Chandler was looked extremely pale-faced, which went unnoticed by Joey. He was too busy flirting with a girl in the front row.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Chandler replied, in a cracked voice. "Just a bit nervous."

"It'll be fine."

The girls arrived soon after, and waited in a room off the lobby.

"Oh my God. Rachel, I'm so nervous."

Monica was holding her arm for support, barely able to even stand.

"Monica, calm down, it'll be fine!"

The groomsmen all entered the room. "Its time to start!", exclaimed an excited Joey.

The wedding party lined up, Ross being the last to get in place. Rachel's heart began beating at a million miles an hour as he took his place beside her.

"You know, you look amazing."

"Um, thanks." She remained extremely nervous, until she actually looked at him. All of a sudden, she felt okay. "You're not looking bad yourself." It was easier to talk to him than she'd thought it would be.

"So, how long's it been?" Ross wasn't exactly sure how he'd bring up his feelings, but somehow, this felt like a good moment.

"Wow, well . . .", she counted in her head, "almost four years now, I think." She gave him an embarrassed smile.

"Way too long." She nodded in agreement.

The music began, snapping them out of the moment, and the line shifted as the party began entering. Ross held out his arm, and Rachel took it- giving her a surprising amount of butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

Before she could prepare herself, it was their turn. They began walking, grinning widely for the guests and the photographer.

Ross was fuming in his head over the lost moment. It was the first time he'd talked to Rachel in four years, and, ironically, that was all they had been able to establish. He had so much more to say.

"Rachel," he whispered at her as they continued down the aisle.

"Ross, what?", she whispered back through clenched teeth, keeping the camera-ready smile plastered on her face.

"I have to talk to you."

"Well, can it wait??"

"At the reception."

"Fine, fine, now shut up!"

They reached the minister, where they would have to part ways. Rachel went one way, but felt Ross follow from behind, not letting her arm go.

"Ross!", she whispered urgently. "Let go, you stand by Chandler!"

"At the reception," he repeated, and then went to his appropriate spot.

She went to the front of the bridesmaid line, a confused look on her face. _What's so important that he needs to talk about?_ And while this was her best friend's big day, she couldn't help but want it to go quickly, so she could find out.

But before she could think too much into it, Jack Geller was leading his little girl down the aisle.

Chandler took one look at Monica, and his eyes became full with tears. She was so stunningly beautiful, that it was just like Rachel said- he felt like he was falling in love with her all over again. After all these years, she still took his breath away.

She beamed at him, as a few stray tears fell down her cheeks. Her dad gave her away at the front of the aisle, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. Monica turned to Chandler, they were both glowing as they grinned at each other.

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"Do you, Chandler, take Monica Geller as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?"

"I always have."

The minister stared at him expectantly.

"That would be an 'I do'."

The audience laughed, as Chandler slid Monica's wedding ring onto her finger.

The minister then turned to Monica. "Do you, Monica, take Chandler Bing as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?"

"I do!", she exclaimed, in a way only Monica could, as she put Chandler's ring onto his finger.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to be the first to announce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing! You may now kiss the bride."

Chandler stared straight into Monica's eyes, before taking her face in his hands and kissing her passionatly.

"Woop woop!", they heard Joey yell from his spot.

"Save some of that for the honeymoon!", Phoebe joined in.

"Good one!", Joey yelled back, and Phoebe flashed him a thumbs-up.

The happy couple pulled away, and Chandler took Monica's hand into his own and squeezed tight as they descended down the aisle.

Rachel and Ross were to follow, Ross watching his sister and best friend in adoration, and Rachel still crying from watching. The rest of the wedding party followed, and soon everyone filed out into the lobby.

"Congradulations!", yelled Rachel, as she gave Monica a huge hug. "Listen, sweetie, I promised Phoebe that we'd help make last-minute adjustments at the reception, so we'll meet you there!" Phoebe also gave Monica a hug, and the three girls beamed at each other before Rachel and Phoebe left.

Ross watched her go. He had just missed another chance to talk to her, and his patience was playing against him. _Don't worry_, he told himself. _You have the whole reception . . ._

Before long, the only people left in the lobby were Monica and Chandler and the remaining members of the wedding party. As their cousins, Joey, and Ross got into the limo, Monica stole a moment with Chandler before leaving.

"We're really married." She smiled up at him.

"Yeah, we are. Wow . . ."

She threw her arms around his neck, recalling a happy memory from four years back. He responded happily by deeply kissing her.

They were interrupted by a car horn. "COME ON!", they heard Joey yell. "I'M HUNGRY!!"

"Joey, its 4 in the afternoon. You know they don't serve dinner until 6, right?"

"WHAT?! Ross, you're killing me!"

The newly married couple grinned at each other, before Monica began running to the limo. She grabbed Chandler's hand, dragging him behind her.

"Come on, slowpoke, we can't be late to our own reception!"

"What did I just marry?", he joked to himself. _Oh yeah, the most perfect woman I know._

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I 3 Reviews!! 


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **Ok, so looking at all your great reviews, I'm realizing something. You guys have better ideas than me, LOL. No, no, but I gotta say one thing. One of you said how Ross and Rach would have all the anger and what not, and they should have a long discussion, and I realize . . .they should. However, this story is not being written as I'm updating. I wrote it a while ago, the story line is pretty much set in stone. So, I'm sorry that the story gets cliche from here on, even if it's just a tad. This was my first fic while I was writing it, and I very much had this big idea in mind while I was writing it. Was it the best idea? Was it my best writing? Probably not. But please, bear with me here. Thanks :-)

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The happy couple entered the reception, and everything went according to plan. They danced their first dance to a tune they held close to their hearts- "The Way You Look Tonight." The reception was going smoothly. Well, as smooth as a party could go with Phoebe and Joey in attendance.

"Tribbiani, GO GET THE CUP!", Phoebe shouted assertively as she ran out of the woman's bathroom.

"Aww, Phoebs, I can't go in there! Look, there's a lot of places I will follow women, but the girl's room is off-limits!"

"Joseph Francis Tribbiani, you are such a baby!"

Monica couldn't even get blustery over the commotion, it was like she was in an entirely different place. A blissful, happy place, and the population was only two- her and Chandler. She was grateful for anytime someone banged their fork on their glass, which would signal to all the guests to do the same, which signaled Chandler to lean in for a kiss.

Rachel sat at Monica's side, beaming at the happy couple, but not quite able to forget about the man sitting on Chandler's left. _'At the reception . . .'_ What could he have to say to her? She turned her attention to the plate in front of her, thinking about it in her head. They hadn't spoken since the ceremony, mostly because she was too afraid to give him a moment to speak. What if he wanted to tell her he was over her, or that he wanted to just be friends, or that he- she almost cried at the thought - had a girlfriend.

_That's silly,_ she told herself. _They all said he hasn't had one since . . .since . . ._

She tried not to admit it to herself, she didn't want to jinx it. She didn't want to get too excited.

But the butterflies in her stomach and the shaking of her hands showed that she was already way more excited than she wanted to be.

Ross glanced at her, giant butterflies fluttering in his own stomach. When would the time be perfect? Before the cake? After the cake? He had no clue, he just knew that it had to be before the wedding ended. He didn't care if it took all night for him to say it- as long as it was still that night. She wasn't getting away this time.

"MAN, this food is good!"

Ross turned around and stared at Joey. He was engulfing his entire meal in mere minutes, like a human vacuum.

"Go, Joey, go!"

_Geez, _he thought. _Phoebe and Joey are like kindergarteners._

"C'mon, Joe, you can do it! You still have 2 minutes until you reach your record!"

_On second thought, Chandler is too. _

After dinner, the newlyweds ran to the cake (well, Chandler _dragged_ Monica to the cake). After successfully getting Monica's mouth covered in frosting, Monica full-on shoved her piece into his face. The guests cheered and laughed- this was definatly a memorable wedding. Even Charles and Nora Bing were putting their differences aside and attempting to have a good time in front of their son.

All the traditional wedding songs played- The YMCA, The Cha-Cha Slide, The Hokey-Pokey, The Chicken Dance- with enough slow songs to keep the couples present happy. However, every time Ross would attempt to ask Rachel to dance, she had either already been asked, or was picking at the remains of her dessert, or was no where to be find. _Is she avoiding me?_

Unable to find her yet again, Ross danced to a song with Phoebe.

"You know Rachel still loves you, right?"

Caught off-guard, Ross let out a, "Humph?"

"She's been staring at you all night, its crazy. I even wrote a song about it in my head- I'm calling it "Staring At You All Night." Clever, huh?!"

Ross couldn't answer. Was Phoebe right? If so, then why did she seem to be gone everytime he got up the courage to talk to her?

"I don't know, Phoebs. She hasn't said a word to me."

"She's scared of how four years could change everything, and you are too. Only you have more courage right now, and you want to talk to her, but she feels vulnerable so she's putting it off."

Ross stared at her in amazement. Sometimes, Phoebe could be so wise out of nowhere.

"How . . .how could you possibly know that?"

"Oh, I know these things."

"You never fail to amaze me, Phoebe."

"I know," she replied, and winked at him. "And I think you need to go for it."

He smiled at her. "Thanks."

That was all he needed. Now he knew that whether Rachel wanted to hear him or not, whether she still loved him or not, it didn't matter. He still loved her, and she needed to know that.

The song ended, and he saw Rachel across the room. One of Chandler's relatives had asked her to dance, and she was politely finishing with him. She cast her eyes across the room . . .

God, he looked good. Same adorable smile, same deep eyes. She watched him as he chatted with Phoebe. Joey suddenly began busting out dance moves to the next song, and attempted to cartwheel- falling right into Ross and Phoebe. Rachel clamped her hand over her mouth to stiffle a laugh.

"Hey losers, keep up!"

Monica was busting out moves of her own, moves that seemed to be oddly familiar choreography. "The Routine!!", Ross yelled, and joined in. Rachel giggled as she remembered their horrible dance from eighth grade. Phoebe and Joey were dancing on their own, and Chandler stared at everyone in disbelief clear on his face.

They were all so different, and yet they all fit so perfectly together. Phoebe's quirkiness, Joey's cluelessness, Ross's geekiness, Chandler's sarcasm, and Monica's motherly watch on them all just blended together and balanced each other out. And Rachel felt so comfortable with these people, she wondered what she would contribute to the group, if she was to ever be one of them.

"Hey Rach, come join us!", Joey yelled. "We need a sixth person, Chandler's all by himself!"

"Oh yes, join in this rambunctious display of stupidity," he said sarcastically.

"No, you guys, I think I'm gonna sit this one out." She watched everyone with Chandler, laughing from the sidelines.

The song ended, and the first bit of the next began. A slow song.

_Oh, oh my love_

_My darling_

_I've hungered for your touch . . ._

Rachel retreated to the bathroom, suddenly noticing that this song more than reminded her of Ross and their present situation . . .

_A long, and lonely time_

Ross's eyes followed her as she left. This was the time, and he didn't care if he had to go to the "no-no" place- he was telling her right there, right now. He followed.

_And time goes by_

_So slowly_

_And time can be_

_So much_

He opened the door, and saw Rachel supporting herself on the counter in the room, her eyes red with tears. When she heard the door open, she snapped up, and looked to see who it was.

"Ross??"

"Is anyone else in here?"

She shook her head, and he closed the door behind him, locking it.

"We need to talk. _I_ need to talk . . ."

"Ross, I don't know if I can do this-"

"Do what?"

She looked up at him in surprise, his tone seemed assertive.

"Can you see my state right now? Do you have any idea why I'm like this?"

The song drifted through the door.

_Are you_

_Still mine?_

_I need your love_

_I need your love_

_I need your love _

_God speed your love to me_

He shook his head.

"You."

He looked her in the eyes, she looked away, embarrassed. _Did I just say that?_

"M-me?", he asked, his voice sporting a hint of nerves.

She nodded, unable to speak. The tears welled up, and flowed too quickly for her to stop them. She turned around, not wanting him to see her like this.

_Lonely rivers flow_

_To the sea, to the sea_

_To the open arms of the sea_

_Lonely rivers sigh_

_Wait for me, wait for me_

_I'll be coming home, wait for me_

He walked over to her, and turned her to see him. He took her tear-stained face in his hands.

"That note, the one you gave Monica for me. Is it- is it still true?"

Rachel finally looked him in the eyes.

"Yes," she managed to get out. "Oh, Ross, of course it is."

He felt tears begin to build up in his own eyes. She still loved him.

"Rachel, I've never stopped loving you."

_Oh, oh my love_

_My darling_

_I've hungered for your touch_

_Ain't long_

_Ain't lonely tonight_

They continued staring at each other, their looks somehow saying everything about the last four years. The pain, the regret, the aching. The lonliness, the the want, the _need._

_And time goes by_

_So slowly_

_And time can mean _

_So much_

_Are you_

_Still mine?_

Their lips met in a passionate kiss, a kiss that meant more than any kiss they'd ever shared. A kiss that made up for the four lost years. A kiss that made up for everything.

_I need your love_

_I need your love_

_I need your love_

_God speed your love to me_

Ross's hands moved down to Rachel's waist, she moved her own to his neck. The kiss deepened, becoming more intense by the second.

"Hello? Why is the door locked??"

Ross unwillingly pulled away. "Occupied!", he yelled at the woman outside the door.

"Is that a man in there??"

"Sorry, ma'am!", Rachel yelled. The woman grumpily left, holding it until she got to her hotel.

Ross turned back to Rachel, who smiled blissfully up at him.

"Wow . . ."

He returned the smile. "My apartment?"

She nodded, feeling happier than she had since before she could remember.

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I'm sorry if this all was too happy too quick. Cause looking back, I really would have done it differently. Ok but considering the fact that I'm a baby and not afraid to admit it, please be somewhat gentle with reviews LOL 3 


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Oh my God, those last reviews were a RELIEF, haha. See, its taken me a while to get the RnR balance between fluff and conflict. Most of this fic ended up being fluff, the 13 chapter song fic I read afterwards was mostly conflict. But I think the one I'm writing now's gonna have a good balance... that's the one I'm gonna start posting here when I finish this. Five chapters left!  
_

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_

_Hello my friend, we meet again_

_Its been while, where should we begin?_

_Feels like forever_

The whole way to his apartment was a blur. They vaguely remembered giddily running from the bathroom, hand-in-hand, waving goodbye to an awe-struck Monica and Chandler like two lovesick teenagers, blissfully blinded by love. But once they hit the pavement outside, reality set in.

They were together again. After all this time, all the worrying, all the doubt. It all seemed to wash away. The walked in silence for about a block, uncertain of what to say. However, the silence settling between them was far from awkward- it was comfortable. It was a beautiful silence that echoed louder than any noise, and they didn't want to break it. Rachel stared at the ground as she walked, but felt Ross take her hand. She turned to him and smiled, a warm smile that made his heart beat faster. He returned the gesture. It really felt like nothing had changed, like they were 18 again.

They continued the long trek back to the Villiage without speaking; it wasn't needed. Knowing they had each other proved to be enough.

_Within my heart are memories_

_Of perfect love that you gave me_

_I remember . . ._

Silently, they walked up the stairs to Ross's apartment some floors up. Rachel lost count of how many floors, she truthfully didn't even notice there were stairs. She could only think about the man guiding her up them, the man who was everything and anything she needed.

He unlocked the door to his apartment, and held it open for her to enter. She came in, and looked around. The apartment was nicely decorated, with some science awards and dinosaur artifacts scattered. Stylish but comfortable, modern but homey. So Ross.

She heard him close the door behind her, and she turned to look at him. He took his jacket off, setting it on a hook by the door. He realized her eyes were on him, and he couldn't help but boyishly grin at seeing her staring at him. He could try to put on a tough image with the guys, try to be a "man's man", but Rachel knew the real Ross. He was a softie on the inside. And she loved it- it was incredibly lucky to fall in love with a hopeless romantic like him.

Upon seeing his smile, she wrinkled her nose in her own, causing him to him chuckle. How he lived without that nose, that mouth, that face . . .how he lived without _her_, he'd never know. But he had her now, and decided to make every moment count. They somehow met in a tender, passionate kiss- slow, like trickling molasses. Neither wanted to rush things, they'd rather lose themselves in the moment.

Rachel felt herself practically melt into him, both drunk on each other. He slowly began to back them towards the bedroom, and she followed suit. Remaining liplocked, Ross slowly reached for the zipper on her dress. She shivered as she felt him pull it down, his fingers trail behind it, down to the small of her back, where he rested his hands. She moved hers from his face, bringing them down to his tie, which she loosened and pulled over his head.

He moved his head down, and kissed her now bare shoulder. She began unbuttoning his shirt, purposely brushing her fingers against his chest as she worked her way down. He began kissing her neck, pushing her so far over the edge that she couldn't even finish. He laughed at this, and she smiled at him, embarrassed. It didn't matter how long it had been, he still could send her to Cloud 9 that easily.

It took a while, but they eventually managed to undress each other before falling onto the bed.

_When you are with me, I'm free_

_I'm careless, I believe_

_Above all the others, we'll fly_

_This bring tears to my eyes_

_My sacrifice_

It was as if none of the past had happened- they hadn't fought, Rachel hadn't left, it hadn't been four years since they saw each other. It was simply the present, as the got caught up in the moment, drowning in each other.

Always up for a little fun, Ross decided to tease Rachel by holding out a bit longer.

"I love you," he whispered, while showering her with kisses.

"I love you too, Ross . . ." She waited a few moments, finally realising what he was doing. "Oh, come on, tease!"

He laughed at her childishness, and looked her straight in the eyes. Her amazing blue eyes, like pools you could easily drown in. She really, really wanted him . . ._needed_ him, even. He could tell. He wouldn't deny her any longer, because his patience was running out as well.

He rolled on top of her, quietly asking if she was okay. She nodded; he was always so considerate, thinking about her before all else. But all that did right now was take up more time, and they had waited long enough.

_We've seen our shares of ups and downs_

_Oh, how quickly life can turn around in an instant_

_It feels so good to reunite_

_Within yourself and within your mind_

_Let's find peace there_

It was late. Ross glanced at the clock, the time reading 2:30 am. He sighed contentedly, and once again looked at the figure laying on his chest.

Rachel was fast asleep, her cheek resting on his chest, her arms tightly wrapped around his middle. His own arms held her in place protectively. As he watched her quietly breath on top of him, he noticed just how their bodies seemed to fit. It was surprisingly comfortable to sleep like this, it always had been. It was like they were made for each other, simply meant to be. He wondered to himself, for about the fiftieth time that night, how he went four years without this woman sleeping at his side. He smiled at her and stroked her back. Everything felt so . . .right.

He tore his gaze from her to stare out his window. The lights of the city glowed, seeming to echo the happiness he felt inside. He thought about how the lights were such a common thing to see, the normal New York resident taking them for granted. But now he noticed them, noticing how the lights seemed to complete the city. Just how Rachel seemed to complete him.

He felt his eyelids become heavy, and knew that sleep would be taking him soon. He kissed the top of Rachel's head, and pressed her closer to him. As long as she was there with him, anything else that happened from now on wouldn't matter. He could lose his job the next day, and still be as giddy as a schoolboy with Rachel at his side. Nothing else made a difference- he had the one thing he had ever truly loved in the world. And to him, that was enough for now. That was enough for life.

_When you are with me, I'm free_

_I'm careless, I believe_

_Above all the others, we'll fly_

_This brings tears to my eyes_

_My sacrifice_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a blissful night for the newly married couple as well. After the initial shock of seeing their best friends together as if nothing as happened, they'd remembered that they had their own history to make tonight. It was their wedding night.

And what a night it had been. The champagne definitely played a part, but even more intoxicating than that was their love for each other. Everything was just perfect.

Well, okay, Chandler might have strained his back in an attempt to carry Monica over the threshold.

"If you didn't notice, I'm no longer huge, Chandler!"

"Why, no, I hadn't," he'd sarcastically quipped back. The truth was, he was no where near as stong as he'd like to think- or let other people think.

"Honey, just let me down, I can walk."

"No, no, I'm doing this right!"

The collapse of the two on the bed upon entering the room was with more than anticipation- it was a well needed rest. A short lived one, but a rest nonetheless.

Later that night, Chandler held Monica close to his side, the sheets of the bed loosly covering them. It had been an exhausting night, one they wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. And now, they could do it whenever. Every night, if they wanted to. And based on the night's events, Chandler was desperately hoping she would want to . . .

Sleep was upon them. After all, they'd consummated enough for the night . . .enough to get married a few more times, even.

"Goodnight, wife." Chandler smiled down at his bride. He liked the way it sounded- _wife_. It was just right.

"And goodnight to you, husband," she giggled back. This just fit, it was as if they'd always been married and just decided to go public with it. It didn't feel like a change at all. Granted, they hadn't even let the hotel bed yet, but they both just knew that this was the perfect life for them. They both fell asleep happy, full of dreams of each other and what their lives would be together.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Beepbeepbeep_

A hand reluctantly made its way onto the bedside table, smacking the sleep button on the alarm clock with all its might. Ross groggily blinked his eyes before opening them all the way. Instead of seeing the alarm clock, like he usually would, he was staring into golden hair. Rachel's hair.

_Oh yeah, that's what happened last night_. He smiled to himself; waking up this way felt like his life had finally fallen into place. He kissed Rachel behind the ear, gently waking her up.

"Nnnggghhhh." She never was a morning person.

"Rise and shine," he whispered sweetly. She turned her head to face him, blinking from the light. When she got used to it, and everything came into focus, she found those deep brown eyes staring back. "Hey."

"Hey." So simple, and yet that greeting summed up everything perfectly. They just sat looking at each other, grinning like idiots- only they weren't idiots. They were in love. Better yet, _still_ in love.

Ross was the first to break the silence. "Just like old times, huh?"

Rachel continued smiling at him. "Better."

He grinned proudly before leaning down and giving her a soft kiss.

"Ross . . .", Rachel began. Ross knew that look. Whatever she'd continue with, it would be important. "I have to go back to Milan."

All of a sudden, he panicked. Back to Milan? Had last night meant nothing?

She saw the immediate change of attitude, and quickly jumped to mend. "No, no, I'm not staying there." His heart regained its regular pace, but he was still curious. "My stuff is still there, everything. I was planning on moving back here, but I had such a work load with school, and then my family was visiting all summer, and then was the wedding . . .I don't have anywhere to stay out here."

He breathed a sigh of relief. That was it? "Rachel," he started gently. "You can always stay here."

She looked at him intently. Sure, they both had assumed that they'd be picking up where they left off. But even so, it had only been one night.

"Are you sure? I mean, its been so long since we were-"

"Yes," he cut her off. "I'm sure."

She hesitated a few seconds before locking her eyes back onto his. He looked so loving, it melted away her doubts. She nodded. "Then I will."

She brought her hand to his cheek, leaning in and kissing him gently.

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I know, I know, could they BE moving any faster? LOL, like I said, this was my first fic when I was writing it.  
I 3 those reviews!! Keep 'em coming ;-)


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Aww, only four chapters after this. Buut thats a good thing, cause my favorite chapters of this fic are definitely the last few. But right after this is over, I'm gonna start posting my current fic- "Your Ad Here" - which I'm posting on Friends Cafe right now. So you guys better follow me to that one ;-) Haha

* * *

It was raining as the two walked out of Ross's apartment, and set off to the hotel Rachel had stayed at to get her things. There was traffic, but no cab to be seen. Rachel pulled one of Ross's old jackets tightly around her, as he kept a protective arm around her waist. They didn't even think to bring an umbrella, but it didn't matter. They were so happy that all they could do was walk down the street, becoming more soping wet by the minute, laughing uncontrollably when they found themselves ankle-deep in a puddle.

The splash took them both by surprise, even though they knew it was raining. They were in hysterics, though the scenario wasn't particularly funny. The fact that they were walking what was a twenty block walk in the rain, however, was.

"Well, we can't have you in there, now can we?"

Ross lifted Rachel off the ground, holding her while she giggled in his arms. They continued down the street, ignoring the passers-by who stared at them from underneath their umbrellas. Realizing he wasn't putting her down any time soon, Rachel sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. He felt her smile as she leaned against him, causing him to break out in his own grin. It may have been raining, and the girl he held in his arms may have been much heavier than usual due to her wet clothing, but somehow, life had never been so perfect.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monica and Chandler were laying out on a beach in Hawaii, where they were spending their honeymoon. It was the third day, and, curiously, this was their first day out of the bedroom . . .ah, Chandler was sure loving married life.

"Can you believe we've been married for four days now?"

Chandler was snapped out of his dreamy state as turned his attention from the horizon to Monica.

"Well, its kinda felt like we were always married, you know? You just happen to have pretty jewelry that proves it."

He picked up her hand, the one bearing the engagement diamond and wedding band, and gave it a light kiss.

"I know!!"

He chucked. He loved his girlfriend- ahem, _wife's_- enthusiasm. As long as it was directed towards him, and not cleaning. Or exersizing.

Well, make that just if it was about him. Or them. Then it was okay.

They sat back together in the sand, the tide lapping at their feet as they watched the slowly setting sun.

_Yup_, Chandler thought to himself. _This is **it**._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ross paced his apartment. Rachel had gone back to Milan, insisting that she could pack up her apartment without his help. She didn't want him coming to Milan- it was hard enough going by herself. She didn't want him to see what she had chosen over him that December, a decision she regretted more than anything she'd done.

Back and forth, back and forth.

He'd just dropped over Rachel at the airport only a day earlier, but he couldn't deny that he missed her already. They'd shared two blissful nights together, and in three days, they'd be able to share a _lifetime._ Or, at least, he hoped they would.

His mind once again drifted towards its latest topic- Marriage. He knew that at the moment, it was way too soon to be proposing to Rachel. He'd do it and feel right about it in a heartbeat, but he knew he should wait. They were already rushing into living together.

Then again, they were always the rushing type. It only took three weeks to declare their love for one another- among other things. It only took six months for him to know that she was the only person he could ever see himself grow old with, and it only took a few more days for them to be ripped apart. And now, it only took a day to reunite with the same passion, the same vigor, as their previous relationship had.

Call them crazy, but they just knew it was right. They didn't care how fast-paced it was- love works in mysterious ways. However, marriage was a big leap compared to anything else they'd encountered. Once you got married, you thought of kids, you eventually had those kids, and you became a family. Ross wasn't even 24 yet. While he knew Rachel was the one he wanted to be with forever, he wasn't ready to make that transition any time soon. And he knew she probably felt the same way.

The phone rang, causing Ross to jump. He anxiously crossed the room, and picked up the reciever. "Hello?"

"Hey you." To him, there was no denying that sweetness.

"Rach! How's everything going?"

"The packing's okay, my neighbor is helping me. We'll probably finish tomorrow night, and I'll catch a flight back on Thursday."

"Sounds good."

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too, almost more than I love you."

Rachel smiled to herself. He always knew the right thing to say.

"I love you, too. I can't wait to get back home. How I lived without New York, I'll never know."

"I can't wait to see you. We'll have to . . .'make up' for these missed nights, you know," he added, slyly.

"I have four years to make up to you, yet."

"These past two days have more than made up for that."

Just hearing his sweet voice without being able to kiss him in gratitude was killing her. "Ross, I have to go now. I'll call you tomorrow, and I'll see you Thursday, alright?"

"I'm looking forward to both. I love you."

"I love you, too . . .Bye."

"Bye."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So how's loverboy's life going?", asked Phoebe.

Her, Ross, and Joey were hanging out at the local coffee shop, Central Perk. They were all anticipating the return of the newlyweds, who would be coming home today. Rachel would be returning tomorrow.

"She's packing her things in Milan. I really miss her, you know?"

"Yeah, one time I made this sandwitch, but I didn't have time to eat it. So I took a bite, and I had to put it in the fridge, and I thought about it all day," Joey reminisced. Upon seeing the blank stares from his friends, he asked, "That's the same thing, right?"

Ross decided to humor him. " . . .Yup, same thing."

"Oh, definitely," said Phoebe. Joey sat back, looking happy with himself.

"Somehow, the coffee shop's lost a bit of its glow, ya know?", came the sarcastic-toned voice of Chandler through the front door of the shop.

"The newlyweds are here!", cried Phoebe. Everyone jumped up to exchange hugs with them. Monica wore a look of extreme happiness as everyone asked how the week was.

"Guys, it was incredible! Hawaii was so beautiful, there were beaches, and volcanos-"

"And a bedroom," Chandler added with a grin. Phoebe winked at Monica, and Joey beamed proudly at Chandler. Ross, however, wasn't so amused.

"Dude, that's my sister." He gave Chandler a blank stare.

Ignoring Ross's remark, they continued with their story.

"Oh, that is so romantic!", exclaimed Phoebe when they were done. "I'm totally going to Hawaii when I get married."

"Sounds like you guys had a great time." Ross smiled at them, genuinly happy for the couple. While Chandler got into a conversation with Joey and Phoebe, Monica pulled Ross aside.

"How are things with Rachel? I saw you guys after the reception . . ."

"Monica, its beyond amazing. These past two days, I don't think I've ever been happier."

Monica grinned. "Well, where is she now?"

"She's in Milan, packing up her apartment. She's moving in with me, Mon."

"Whoa," she replied, stunned. "After 2 days? Isn't that a big step?"

"Well, we think we're ready. I love her, Monica, I really do. I've never been more sure about anything."

The siblings smiled, brimming with proudness for each other, before sharing a hug. "I'm so happy for you guys, Ross."

"I'm happy for you guys, too."

* * *

Y'all know I love reviews :-) 


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **Guys, I am sooo sorry for the wait! Your last reviews have been amazinggg, everyone's! I'm dead serious. You guys are overly awesome. And yeah, about this being later than usual, my computer has been a little nuts lately. Wasn't letting me upload, ughh. But it's working now:-D

* * *

Ross was sitting in class, staring at the clock, willing it to move faster with his mind. He hated that he had class today- Rachel was returning home. She was moving into his apartment. He still couldn't believe it.

"Geller, would you mind paying attention?"

He snapped out of his daydream, and answered the professor's question. Graduate school was so annoying sometimes.

He glanced at the clock again. Another half hour, and he would be out of here- and hopefully with Rachel. According to the carefully drawn out schedule by Monica, Rachel's plane should have come in about 40 minutes ago. Her and Phoebe were to pick her up at the airport, and bring her back to his apartment. He felt so bad that he couldn't pick her up, but she assured him that he had to go to class. She wouldn't need his help today, anyway, because most of her stuff was being sent over in a few days. All she would need was him, and that was worth waiting for until his class was over.

He practically sprinted out of the class as soon as it ended, pushing aside the other students to get to the doorway first. He was like a little kid on a Friday afternoon, or the last day of school before summer. He caught the first cab he saw, his legs jiggling in anticipation the whole ride home.

When he got up to his apartment, he was so excited that that he dropped his keys three times before he could even get them in the lock. He opened it, almost expecting some big, romantic, movie-like kiss waiting for him behind the door. Instead, he saw Rachel napping on his couch, his old afgan loosely wrapped around her.

And somehow, that was even better.

He smiled to himself. It was like somehow, she was even more beautiful than she was four days ago. And she was his.

He gently sat down next to her at the edge of the couch, being careful not to wake her. He stroked her hair, traced the outline of her face, and then rested his hand on the small of her back.

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing_

_Watch you smile while you're sleeping_

_While you're far away and dreaming_

_I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,  
I could stay lost with you in this moment forever,  
Well, every moment spent with you,  
Is a moment I treasure _

He bent down towards her to whisper in her ear, "Welcome home."

She slowly opened her eyes, smiling warmly when she saw those puppy eyes staring back at her. She began to speak, but Ross put a finger to her lips, keeping her quiet. This was one of those times where words weren't necessary.

He leaned back down, giving her a gentle but passionate kiss. When they broke apart, she patted next to her on the couch, beckoning him to lay down. He shifted so that he could lay next to her, and transfered her to lay on his chest before wrapping the afgan around the two of them. She wrapped her arms around his middle, as he lightly rubbed them. They sat like this for nearly an hour, simply enjoying being with each other in the silence of what was now home to both of them. But they both felt themselves nearing sleep, and neither wanted the night to be over.

_I don't wanna close my eyes, _

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_Cause I'd miss you, babe, _

_And I don't wanna miss a thing_

_Cause even when I dream of you, _

_The sweetest dream will never do_

_I'd still miss you, _

_And I don't wanna miss a thing_

Rachel was the first to speak.

"Sweetie, I have to take a shower. I honestly fell asleep the second I got here. It was a really long flight."

"Aww, but I'm so comfortable," he replied, faking dissapointment, but in a cute way. She simply smiled.

"You could always join me, you know." She threw him a mischevious smile before sauntering off to the bathroom. His eyes snapped open as he caught on. Just the thought of that made him gulp with nervous excitement . . .

They both started at the beginning of their normal routine, shampooing. The soap . . .now that changed things. What started out as an innocent shower quickly changed. Ross couldn't keep his hands off her, he backed her against the wall while kissing her intensely.

"Ross," she tried to get out. "I seriously had to shower!"

He pulled away. "Yeah, well you have three nights to make up to me, missy," he replied, remembering their phone conversation two days earlier.

With that, he quickly turned off the shower, picked her up, and ran into the bedroom, throwing her onto the bed.

"Ross, we're soaking wet!", she giggled.

"You think I care? Its been days, Rachel!"

And with that, he shut up her next retort by continuing the intense kiss that was broken in the shower. This agressive side of him was surprising her- not that she didn't like it, of course. He was in charge, and that was sure fine by her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The two laid in what was now their regular position, her head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around her. The tangled mass of sheets that covered them were now dampened. They both were breathing heavily as their heartbeats began to return to normal.

"I missed you," he whispered to her.

"Mmm, I missed you too. Not just the past few days, either."

He nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. Those four years sure hadn't been easy on either of them. Just the simple thought of losing her again made him hug her tighter, squeezing her close to his body.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Rachel's long hair was still damp from the shower, and felt cool against his chest. He liked the feeling. He sat back against his pillow, still clinging onto her, waiting for her to fall asleep, which was a sign that he could. He was so comforted by having her here with him again, and knowing that they could do this every night if they wanted to. She _lived_ here now.

They lay in silence, staying awake longer than usual just to be in the moment with each other. Rachel though, was finding it tough to stay up. She was beat, but desperate to soak up the moment with Ross.

_Lying close to you,  
Feeling your heart beating,  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing,  
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together,  
And I just wanna stay with you,  
In this moment forever,_

But of course, Rachel eventually surrendered to the exhaustion, falling asleep first, like usual. She felt so incredibly safe and taken care of with him, so happy and satisfied to be back in his arms. All this lulled her to sleep, knowing that she had nothing to worry about in the morning, now that she had Ross.

_I don't wanna close my eyes, _

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_Cause I'd miss you, babe, _

_And I don't wanna miss a thing_

_Cause even when I dream of you, _

_The sweetest dream will never do_

_I'd still miss you, _

_And I don't wanna miss a thing_

It would have been so easy for Ross to just close his eyes and drift off into a wonderful dream. Usually, he stayed awake a little after Rachel would fall asleep, almost as if he was making sure it was safe for him to be unconcious, too. But really, he loved watching Rachel sleep, so peaceful, always a small smile playing at the corners of her lips.

_I don't wanna miss one smile, _

_I don't wanna miss one kiss_

_I just wanna be with you, right here with you, _

_Just like this_

_And I wanna hold you close, _

_Feel your heart so close to mine_

_I just wanna stay here in this moment, _

_For all the rest of time_

He fought his sleep tonight, desperate to take everything in. He wanted to savor the moment, burn the memory of the woman with him into his mind forever. He drifted in and out of a light slumber, never quite keeping his eyes off her as he gently stroked her dewy skin. He finally brought himself to believe that, yes, this fantasy was real. It was his life, and he couldn't wish for any better.

_I don't wanna close my eyes, _

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_Cause I'd miss you, babe, _

_And I don't wanna miss a thing_

_Cause even when I dream of you, _

_The sweetest dream will never do_

_I'd still miss you, _

_And I don't wanna miss a thing_

* * *

If you guys give me another round of reviews like the last, I swear, I will, like, cry. LOL 


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **It's almost the end, guys :-D. Ok to answer the questions in one of your reviews-- yes, the conflict is over. This story is 25 chapters long, so after this one, there's 2 more, and then I'm gonna post a list of all the song lyrics that have been in the chapters. And, to answer the other question, the last chapter's song was "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith. Oh, and sorry to my Lobster fans, but this chapter is mostly Mondler. I couldnt abandon them, even if RnR is my loovee. LOL

* * *

Monica woke up early, before the alarm had even gone off. She had trouble sleeping the entire night, she felt like she was gonna hurl. "Better get a garbage can and sleep on the couch," Chandler had joked to her. 

To which she quipped, "Better not expect me to be joining you in bed for a while then."

A threat like that always shut him up good.

She left the bedroom quietly so she could make herself a light breakfast. Surprisingly, she found both Phoebe and Joey asleep on the couch and armchair in her living room.

"Guys, did you not go home last night??", she yelled.

Phoebe shot up. "Ahhh, its like my dream of an evil Monica is reality!"

Joey merely grumbled, turning over on his stomach and putting a pillow over his ears.

"Joey, Phoebe, seriously, wake up! Why didn't you leave when Ross and Rachel did?"

"Monica, we're depressed!", said Phoebe. "You guys are all coupled up and we have no one!"

"And _I_ didn't get to have sex last night!", yelled a now-awake Joey.

"Make the loud noises stop," they heard Chandler mumble from the bedroom.

"Go home!", Monica now whispered. "I feel sick and I don't need this now!"

Phoebe shot her a look. "You feel sick? Monica, are you . . ."

Monica's eyes shot open.

"Yes, Phoebe, she's sick, she just said so!" Joey never knew what was going on.

"I . . .I don't know. Am I?" Monica was shaking.

"Its entirely possible, Mon. Maybe you should take a test."

"I used all of those up!"

"You used an entire box of tests up??", Phoebe asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, well sometimes I get so . . .Ok, I just wanted to try them out! And so did Chandler, so . . ."

"Now, you're sure you want to be married to _that_?", asked Phoebe.

"Chandler's sick too?", asked Joey, wide-eyed.

"We're talking about pregnancy tests, Tribbiani!", Phoebe yelled.

"Phoebe, be quiet!" Monica didn't want Chandler to hear. They'd only been married two months, how could she be pregnant already? "I'm gonna go buy a test today, and I'll tell him after I take it. Until then, don't say a word!"

"Well, I decided that since there's apparently a party out here that I wasn't invited to, I'm up." Chandler came into the room. Monica shot Joey and Phoebe looks.

"I'm gonna ge back home." Joey smiled proudly at his friend. "Way to go, buddy!" He gave him a hug before leaving.

"Way to go for what?"

"Oh, Monica told him that you guys had sex last night," said fast-thinking Phoebe.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monica stared at the stick, waiting in nervous anticipation. Phoebe stood in the doorway.

"So?"

"I don't know, I don't think it worked . . .Aw, man, I peed on the wrong part!"

"How do you pee on the wrong part? Well, whatever. Try a new one."

A few minutes later, Monica was once again waiting for the results. All too soon, she got them.

"Oh my God . . ."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chandler got home from his new job, in a cheerful mood.

"Guess who's going be getting very lucky tonight!", he told his wife upon entering the apartment.

"Gee, someone's in a good mood." She was so nervous to tell him.

"Yep, my boss told me that he's thinking of me for the next promotion!"

"Oh, honey, that's great!"

She hugged him, and he beamed at her, so proud of himself.

"I'm gonna go get changed for dinner."

He retreated to the bedroom, and she stayed in the kitchen, fiddling with something on the kitchen counter. She had to tell him, she just had no idea how.

He came back out, wearing sweats, a t-shirt, and an adorable smile. It just floored her how cute and sexy he could be while not even trying. Her husband . . . of course, her husband! He married her, she had to be able to tell him!

"Honey, I'm pregnant," she blurted out all at once.

He stared at her, frozen in the spot he was in. "Um, you're . . .you're what, exactly?"

"I'm pregnant," she said carefully.

"Oh my . . .oh my God."

His eyes traveled down to her belly. "We, we're gonna have a . . .a baby?"

"Yeah." She smiled at him. His eyes lit up.

"Oh my God, we're gonna have a baby!", he repeated. "Oh my GOD!"

He ran towards her, pulling her into a huge hug. Her eyes brimmed with happy tears, and soon, his eyes were wet as well.

"A baby! I can't believe we made a baby . . ."

He sat her down on one of the kitchen chairs, and kneeled down in front of her.

"We really did, Chandler. Well, we should still go to the doctor's to make sure, but . . .I really think we did."

He cupped her face in his hands, and gave her a gentle kiss. "Wow, a baby."

He moved his hands to her stomach. "What do you think it is?", he asked, overly excited.

"I think its a girl." They smiled at each other.

He looked at her tummy again. "Erica."

_Chandler is so ready to be a father_, she thought to herself. "I like that name," she replied, now fully crying, but a smile still plastered on her face.

They spent the whole night laying on the couch. Chandler could not stop caressing or staring at her stomach. _Our child's in there . . ._

When he thought Monica had fallen asleep, he even talked to it. "Hey, I'm your daddy. You're gonna have the best mommy when you're born in nine months, you know that? We're gonna love you so much." He kissed her stomach.

She was still awake, and smiled at this. She had no doubts in her mind that Chandler was going to be the most amazing father. She took his hand in hers, surprising him since he'd thought she'd been sleeping.

"I love you," she whispered. "And I know you're gonna love this baby so much."

"And you're going to be an incredible mother." He moved up to spoon with her, kissing her forehead, but always keeping one hand at her stomach. His child- their child- was growing there. It was the most amazing feeling.

She saw his face. "I know," she told him. "I can't believe it either."

They fell asleep on the couch, in each other's arms. It was the best surprise either could ever hope for.

* * *

I'm not a huge Mondler fan from the show, I mean I like them, I definitely think they are a cute couple. They're just not Ross and Rachel ;-) So I hope any Mondler fans reading aren't disappointed, because I definitely tried to get them into these last few chapters just as much as RnR :-) Sooo get to those wonderful reviews! 


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: **This is the second to last chapter! Aww, that's sad. Haha. But I do have a fic for after this! Not a finished one, but I'm pretty far along. Anyways . . .

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And so the months went by, the anticipation of great events in both couple's lived growing more by the day.

Of course, only Ross knew of his and Rachel's . . .

It was early one Friday night, and the gang was gathered at Monica and Chandler's. Monica was nearly nine months pregnant, but refusing for any help cooking or cleaning.

"Honey," Chandler called from the couch. Monica was bustling around, despite her large belly, hurrying to make some crab cakes. "Sit down, I don't want you to hurt your back."

"I'm the hostess, I have to work!", she exclaimed. He rolled his eyes and sat back, defeated. There really was no way to get her to stop.

"So what names have you guys finally decided on?", Phoebe asked him.

"Well, if its a girl, Erica Marie. If its a boy, Jack Michael."

"Hey, what happened to naming it Joey?!" Joey glared at Chandler with an angry face.

"There never was any 'naming it Joey'," he replied.

"Oh . . ." Realizing there was no arguing with that, Joey dropped the subject.

Ross, sitting on the cushy chair in the cozy front room, laughed at his friend's cluelessness. Rachel was on his lap, snuggling against his chest, and he had his arms around her. They had been together for ten months now, and Ross knew that he was exactly where he wanted to be. He had never been more in love with Rachel, and he'd never been happier. He felt Rachel giggle, and his eyes immediatly darted to his coat, hanging on the other side of the room. More specifically, to the coat pocket, where the most special gift he'd ever gotten her was sitting. He was waiting for the exact perfect moment to unveil it; he had a plan. And tonight happened to be the exact perfect night.

For now, he was getting Rachel accostomed to life in the Villiage. She adapted quickly, becoming fast friends with Phoebe and Joey. She just seemed to fit perfectly as the sixth member of the group. She even got a decent job at Tommy Hilfiger, and Central Perk became her go-to stop for lunch breaks. She molded amazingly well with every change that came to her life.

Well, why wouldn't she, now that she had Ross?

She sighed happily, letting herself sink into Ross's side, her head resting in the nook between his shoulder and arm. He hugged her close, feeling the exact same emotion she did-- content. They were pretty satisfied with their lives, for once.

Ross glanced at his watch; he grew more and more nervous and excited as it drew closer. Before he knew it, he had to execute the first part of his plan.

"I think I'm gonna go home now, guys. I'm just really beat."

Rachel made a groan of protest as he lifted her off him to get up. "Honey, do we have to?"

"You can stay here, Rach. It's fine."

"Well . . .okay."

Rachel lay back down on the chair, curling up into a ball. He kissed her forehead before leaving.

"I love seeing you guys so happy again," said Monica, then quickly checking on the crab cakes.

"Yeah, it just sets off this amazing aura!", commented Phoebe.

Rachel couldn't do anything but smile. She was loving it, too.

"Oh my God," they heard Monica yelp from the kitchen. "My water . . .my wa . . .MY WATER JUST BROKE!"

"OH MY GOD!", Chandler yelled. "We have to get you to the hospital!"

Everyone ran around the apartment, Monica barking orders out to all of them before they went to catch a cab. It was ironic that the woman who was about to go into labor was the one in control of the whole situation- everyone else seemed even more scared with the surprise event.

"Onward, troops!", she mockingly yelled, as the gang piled into a cab bound for the hospital.

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Ross was at home in his and Rachel's apartment, making sure everything was perfect. He had ordered hundreds of her favorite flower- white lilies- and scattered them around the front room and bedroom, and lit candles everywhere. All that was left to do was in the small velvet box buried in his pocket.

The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Ross, honey!", he heard Rachel.

"Rach, where are you??"

"We're at the hospital, I'm on a payphone. Mon went into labor!"

"You're kidding! I'll be there as soon as I can!"

They said their goodbyes, as every aspect of the plan fell from Ross's mind. His niece or nephew was being born!

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"How's it going?"

Ross was out of breath, having ran from the cab out front, to the receptionist's desk, then all the way to the room.

"She's still in labor, she's only dilated five centimeters," Rachel answered. He nodded, giving her a quick kiss before checking on his sister.

He found Chandler holding Monica's hand, her face screwed up in a look of undeniable pain as she went through a contraction. Phoebe was sitting, humming something while moving her hands oddly. The doctor surveyed the scene, coaching Monica.

"Hey guys- hang in there Mon!", he said encouragingly. Monica smiled at her brother, before going into another contraction.

"OW, my hand!", Chandler exclaimed. She shot him an apologetic look as the contractions ended.

"Still five centimeters," the doctor informed them.

"I still have five to go?!"

Ross laughed at his sister, but then paid more attention to Phoebe. "What are you doing??"

"Cleansing the room. I don't feel its innocent enough to be a child's birthplace." She got up, seeming to "touch" the air. "Oh yeah, somebody TOTALLY did it in that corner," she said, pointing.

He rolled his eyes.

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The hours went by. Monica's labor was going incredibly slow, her contractions getting more painful everytime. Midnight drew near, and she was only at eight centimeters. Two to go.

The gang took turns being by her and Chandler's side. They were all incredibly tired; it was exhausting just to look at all the work Monica was doing. Joey went to take his turn by the couple, as Ross returned from his last shift.

He saw that Phoebe had brought her guitar and was writing a song, and Rachel was asleep in one of the chairs. He sat next to her, put his arm around her, and lightly rubbed her side as she snuggled against his arm.

"Baby Geller is trying to escape the womb, inside its wet and like a tomb, but for some reason he's taking long, so I decided to write this song . . ."

Phoebe stopped her song, realizing that she didn't have any ideas of what should come next. So she just continued playing and filled the void with "La la la la la la la . . ."

Ross smiled at her, but then looked back at Rachel. All of a sudden, his heart sank as he remembered what tonight was supposed to be. But it was his sister's night, and she had a thing about her "thunder" being stolen. He knew he would have to wait. He sighed sadly.

"What's on your mind, loverboy?", asked Phoebe, now turning her attention to him.

"Nothing, it's nothing . . ." Phoebe continued looking at him, still expecting a better answer. His defensive walls crumbled. "I was gonna propose tonight," he admitted.

"OH MY GOD!", she yelled happily, causing Rachel to stir in her sleep.

"Phoebs!", he loudly whispered back, rubbing Rachel's back comfortingly. She was back asleep in an instant.

"Sorry, but OH MY GOD," she whispered. "That's so great!"

"But I can't do it _now_," he replied. "Not with Monica and Chandler and the baby . . ."

"Geller, grow up! Monica's a big girl, she can take it. Plus she'll have a baby to nag now. I think you should do it."

"Really?"

"You guys are beyond perfect for each other, you know that. Go for it, Romeo." She winked at him, and he smiled back, looking adoringly at his girlfriend again.

"Maybe I will . . ."

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You know I love reviews!! Hehe, almost done!


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** Well guys, I've been trying to put off the end because I hate ending fics. I get so sad! I mean, I ended writing this one a few months ago, but it didn't feel like the end cause then I started it here! And now it's just officially finished, haha. But yes, here it is, the very last chapter. (I will be posting a list of songs used in the next few days tho)

So here it is :-D

* * *

Rachel's shift was next, but Ross could see that she was exceptionally tired. He gave her a quick squeeze before taking her turn. 

"Hey, guys. Rachel's sleeping, so I'm filling in," he informed them as he entered the room.

"Nine centimeters," Monica panted at him, having just gotten through a contraction.

"Whoa, you're almost there!"

Ross noticed Chandler, who was being curiously silent. He was looking at Monica in complete amazement- how was she doing that? How could someone physically take that pain and be in the mental state to let it continue? He had a newfound respect for his wife.

"You're doing amazing, sweetie," he said, planting a reassuring kiss on the top of her head.

She yelped in pain, somehow getting a grateful intonation into the yell.

She fell back onto the bed as the contraction ended. Her body was covered with sweat, her chest heaving from the exhaustion of it all. _This kid had better be worth it . . ._

Small talk took up the next few moments, until an unexpected contraction inturrupted it.

"She's at ten centimeters, this is it!", the doctor yelled. "Everyone but the father, out!!"

Ross gave his sister's hand a reassuring squeeze as he left to the waiting room.

"This is it, sweetie," Chandler whispered gently into his wife's ear.

She managed to smile at him through the pain, grasping his hand harder with each passing second.

"The head's beginning to crown!", yelled one of the attending nurses.

Chandler shot Monica a look. "Go ahead," she beckoned.

Chandler retreated to the bottom of the bed. "Oh my God . . ." His face showed slight disgust, but also shock. "How the hell are you doing that??"

She shot him an angry look, but continued the exhausting work.

"Oh my God, the head . . . Oh my God, the arms!"

"CHANDLER, would you shut up?!" His head snapped up to see his wife, getting quite annoyed by his observations.

"Sorry!" He returned to his spot beside her, holding her hand as the labor continued. It took a few more minutes before Monica collapsed in a heap onto her pillow.

"You guys have a new baby girl!", the nurse exclaimed.

"Oh, wow . . ." Monica stared at the little child as the nurses took her to get washed. Chandler could do nothing but gaze in pure amazement, his mouth agape. They had made a person. _They_ had made this little baby.

"Here she is," the doctor said, as she handed the baby over to the mother.

"Oh my God," whispered Chandler. Monica held the baby in her arms, staring at her with the utmost adoration. She had stopped crying, and seemed to be peacefully nestled in her blanket.

"Hey, Erica. I'm your mommy," Monica managed to get out inbetween her happy tears.

"And I'm your daddy," Chandler said with a huge smile. He sat down on the bed carefully, and wrapped an arm around Monica. His love, his wife, the mother of his baby. "I can't believe we made her, hon."

"I know." She smiled at Chandler, and they shared a soft kiss.

"Do you guys mind?"

Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey all stood at the door, waiting for the okay to come in.

"Come right in," the proud new mommy told them.

"Oh my God, she's beautiful." The always emotional Rachel got tears in her eyes.

"Hey little girl," Ross said softly to the baby. "I'm your Uncle Ross. Now, the crying woman over there isn't crazy, its just your Aunt Rachel." Rachel swatted him playfully on the arm. "Who I love very much," he added.

"Damn right," she replied. The other two crowded around the bed as well.

"And I'm Aunt Phoebe."

"And I'm your Uncle Joey!" Joey proudly exclaimed.

The six friends stared in wonder at this little bundle of life. The four stood back to stare at Monica and Chandler, so completely immersed in this child already. Monica stroked her head lovingly, as Chandler bent down to kiss both foreheads. It was, literally, a breathtaking scene.

"You guys are so amazing," Phoebe said. "That baby's gonna be loved so much."

"She already is," Chandler replied.

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Ross and Rachel had returned home about an hour later. She was ready for a night of sleep- or something "else"- but Ross had other thoughts on his mind.

_'Ask her already!'_, Phoebe had whispered to him upon their leaving.

When they got in the front door of their apartment, Rachel sat back on the couch. Despite the sleep she'd gotten in the waiting room, she continued to be incredibly exhausted.

Ross sat down carefully next to her, and took her hands, playing with her fingers. "Do you ever think about, uh, us having a baby?"

She looked at him very seriously. "What?"

"I don't know," he continued, becoming suddenly shy. "Do you ever think we'll have one?"

She chuckled at his childishness. "Well, honey, I'd like to be married before I think about that . . ."

"Really?", he asked excitedly, his eyes lighting up. He took one of his hands away from hers, and slid it into his pocket. He felt the velvet of the box brush against his fingers, his heart racing like mad. This was it. "Then do it," he said, taking the box out of his pocket now, and holding it open for her to see.

Her eyes seemed permadently glued open as she stared at the beautiful diamond. "Oh . . .my . . ._what??_", she exclaimed.

"Marry me," he said, becoming more confident. She just sat there, her mouth agape as Ross got down from the couch and assumed a kneeling position in front of her.

Before continuing, he took her hands in his once again. "Rachel, no one knows better than us how perfect we are for each other. I know that on the outside, we seem so different, but it just fits! Everything about you- about _us_- just fits!"

Rachel tried to hold in a sob, but failed. He continued. "I could never, in a million years, imagine myself with someone else. Since I was fourteen years old, you're all there has been. You were _it. _And you still are." She somehow managed a smile through the tears that streamed down her face.

"So, Rach, please don't break my heart again," he pleaded, referring to those four years apart. "Marry me."

She seemed to forget how to talk. She forgot how to move, she forgot how to do anything but stare into those big brown eyes. Those puppy eyes that would be hers, forever. If she could only get herself to say . . .

"Yes!"

Somehow, amidst all the tears and the sobs, she exclaimed the one word that she knew would change their lives forever.

Ross began to get teary-eyed himself, as he slid that rock on her finger. He expected the always fashion-forward Rachel to inspect it, making sure it was the perfect one, but she surprised him. She pulled him up into a standing position, and threw her arms around her neck, giving him the deepest, most passionate kiss he'd ever recieved. And he'd had a lot.

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Monica had fallen fast asleep in her hospital bed. The day was so draining, emotionally and physically. Yet so rewarding.

Chandler sat in a chair right next to the bed. He'd somehow talked the doctors into letting Erica stay longer than was usually allowed. He held her in his arms as he gently rocked her back and forth. She had been sleeping the entire time, and hadn't even opened her eyes for her new parents. _Just like daddy, _he thought with a grin.

_Daddy. _He was a father. The past nine months had been flooded with different emotions. At times, it was worry. Was he ready to be a father? Could he take care of another life when his wife still seemed to be taking care of _him?_ At other times, it was excited. He would have a new baby, a child to raise with Monica, to watch grow up and learn and become a whole person.

A small bead of doubt had grown in him since seeing Erica be born. It really was a human being in his care now- was he prepared?

Almost on cue, Erica suddenly woke up in his arms. Her little eyes opened sleepily as she gave the tiniest yawn Chandler had ever seen or heard. She looked up at her father with amazingly piercing blue eyes, inherited from both her parents.

All of a sudden, Chandler was the most confident father in the world. This baby was gonna love him just as much as he loved her.

"Mr. Bing, it's time for her to go," the nurse whispered in the room. She had to go sleep in the hospital tonight, and they could take her home tomorrow.

He didn't want her to leave, but knew he had to turn her over to the nurse. "Bye, Erica," he whispered at her, and waved as she was carried out.

"You are the most amazing father already," Monica said softly from the bed. He smiled at her, and sat back down in the chair.

They were parents.

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_I'm marrying Rachel . . ._

Ross had reminded himself this about twenty times that night. He still couldn't believe it, even though it was now four hours later. His high school dream had come true.

Hell, his _life_ dream had come true.

He stroked her bare sides as she slept cuddled against his chest, the sheets in a disheveled mess on top of them. He had been sleeping, but had woken up a half hour ago, wide awake. As much as he'd love to wake Rachel to keep up the longevity of the evening, the moment was too serene. He didn't want to disturb it.

Although it wouldn't make her angry. They often woke each other up late at night, sometimes to talk for hours and hours about nothing, sometimes to do more. But it was so peaceful right now, and Ross knew he'd be able to fall back asleep soon anyway.

He looked at her hand, resting on his shoulder, bearing the only thing she was now wearing- the engagement ring.

_I'm marrying Rachel!_

So many changes since the years ago. He used to be the geek in school, the science kid with the fat sister who hung out with the guy with the Flock Of Seagulls haircut, who was known for lusting after the head cheerleader that he could never get.

Now sister and best friend were married, they were _parents_. He was an uncle.

And he got the cheerleader.

It may have taken almost six full years to work out, but every second was worth it All he had to do to assure himself was look at the woman sleeping soundly on top of him.

He, Ross Geller, dinosaur enthusiast, got Rachel Green, the fashion major.

No ones' feelings were secret anymore. And that was all it took to let everything fall into place.

_I wish I'd known that sooner,_ he thought, as he fell into a deep sleep, full of happy dreams about the new journey they were all embarking on.

* * *

Thanks to everyone who followed this fic :-) I'd love it if everyone posted a review just even to say hi! Haha I want to break 100 reviews... though I only need 3 more for that haha. You guys have been awesome and thanks for following the story and any reviews and support you've given me :-) My next fic will be starting in a few days, it's called "Your Ad Here", be sure to read it:-P haha Thankss a ton everyone 33 


	26. Song List

**A/N:** I just wanted to give you guys one last thank you for reading my fic :-) I'm most likely gonna post the next one in a few minutes. But anyways, this is just a list of the songs that were used in the fic ;-)

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"Everybody Hurts"

-R.E.M.

"What About Love"

-Heart

"The Way You Look Tonight"

-Tony Bennet

"You Found Me"

-Kelly Clarkson

"Can't Help Falling In Love"

-Elvis Presley

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

-Kelly Clarkson

"Walk On"

-U2

"Kites"

-U2

"Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own"

-U2

"Incomplete"

-Backstreet Boys

"Alone"

-Heart

"Unchained Melody"

-The Righteous Brothers

"My Sacrifice"

-Creed

"I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing"

-Aerosmith


End file.
